I remember night all too well; I was leaving a John P Kee concert and the weather was horrible. After I hang up the phone from being asked to resign, I purposely hit every water puddle at full speed hoping that that my car would hydroplane. I cannot count on my hands how many times I thought about ending my own life. You would be amazed at how much having your mugshot all over the news will cause one to doubt their abilities and question their purpose here on earth. Too have everything you worked hard for taken away from you because of a mistake you made over 6 years ago.
Back in 2009, at the age of 20, I was working at a hardware store. I allowed my friends to come through for the “hook-up”, “the five-finger discount” (you get the point). I was caught and later changed with petty theft (misdemeanor) and was ordered to pay restitution. Here’s the blessing; I was supposed to be charged with grand theft (a felony) and could have been sentenced to a minimum of 5 years….BUT GOD! (PRAISE BREAK) I had allowed them to walk out of that store with way over $500 worth of merchandise. Crazy, right? I cannot begin to tell you what those items were, but that’s neither here nor there. Anyway, that’s the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. First time in trouble, outside of that one time when I was sent to the Principal’s office. I was your Student Government member, Freshmen Princess, band auxiliary, Homecoming court girl. What was I thinking?
Since then, I spent 5 years working for a local elected official serving as Legislative Intern. I was later promoted to Administrative Aide. I have also have the pleasure to serve as a Staff Assistant at a local state college. A year ago my past resurfaced, and it couldn’t have happened at a better time *insert sarcasm here*. I had just been appointed as the Aide to Orange County’s first African American Clerk of Court. How awesome is that?!?!
I prayed daily for God to keep my mind and remove all negative thoughts. I’ve learned that you don’t overcome bad thoughts by thinking good thoughts. Your words are more powerful than your thoughts. So when you’re tempted to think wrong remember to speak right. I have now made it a habit to speak positively to myself aloud. I not only speak it; I believe it. I know that no good thing will He withhold from me. Jerimiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”, has always been my favorite scripture; but, it meant more to than ever in this season in my life. I had to trust that God had greater for me.
There is no “undo” key in life. We cannot just hit “CTRL+Z” and start over again. Whether big or small, we all make mistakes that we are not proud of. We just have to try our best to move forward. Unfortunately, mine was publicized and that alone is enough to make anyone doubt themselves. Those moments should serve as motivation to become better people. So I encourage you as I encourage myself; whatever you do DO NOT give up. “Your past does not define you” is something that we hear often, and it rings true every day. We may have to work a little harder than most but the reward will be so much greater.
Someone I love dearly always says “Life’s a journey: and it takes a lifetime to figure it out”. Well you are on this journey know that God is bigger than any problem you may face; and the great thing is that He’s on your team.
Thank you Mo for sharing your story and testimony with us! PLEASE go visit her blog at www.perksofMo.com!!!
For HIS glory only....
May God richly bless you!
XOXO
Danielle