No Stagnation: Social Life

For this edition we will be discussing stagnation in our social life.

Remember the definition: Being stagnant  means having stopped, as by ceasing to run or flow; failure to develop, progress, or advance. The state or quality of being or feeling sluggish and/or dull.

For this post I wanted to focus on friendships, social life and community involvement.

We were not built to be singular individuals that have no interaction with others. Friendships have a long history dating back to Biblical times. I believe that Jesus not only saw the disciples as individuals who would carry out His vision, but also His friends. John 15:13 says “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends”. That is exactly what Christ did not only for us, but also the disciples. Friendships are a bond that transcends distance, time, hardships and even pains. You ever pick up the phone and talk to a friend you haven’t spoken to for years, and it is like you spoke yesterday? That is the power of friendship.

If you are feeling stagnant in the area of friendships, social life and community involvement – I recommend joining an organization that will assist you to meet like-minded individuals. These individuals should provide support in the areas that are the most important to you.

When I moved back to Orlando, FL after being in Tampa, FL for quite some time – I needed to meet some people. Although Orlando was the town where I grew up (middle school & high school), things had changed, people moved and I even changed. After much time I decided to join the Central Florida Urban League Young Professionals where I met some awesome people and made lasting friendships. I also was able to assist in making a positive impact on the community. On top of that, the organization assisted me in growing both personally and professionally. Through the connections made within the organization, I got the final push to establish La Belle Vie Essentials. You can find local chapters of both the National Urban League and National Urban League Young Professionals chapters here.

If you do not become part of the National Urban League, there are so many organizations where you can meet like-minded individuals. This may be within your church, a fraternity or sorority, or other community organizations. The important thing is to take the steps to put yourself out there and make the effort to get to know those around you.

I’ll have to do a separate blog on friendships, and the power of friendships. The important thing about stagnation is making forward steps. If you are struggling in this area – you may need a change of environment and surroundings. This will assist you in making the important connections we need to grow.

This ends our blog series this month. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did! Remember NO STAGNATION in area of our lives. We have discussed spiritual, professional, relationships and our social life. Let’s make sure we are taking forward steps towards our goals.

If you have a blog topic you think we should cover, please comment below! We are very open to any ideas!

For His glory only!
XOXO
Danielle J.

Wifey Wednesday: Teach Us to Pray

Prayer …. MAJOR KEY! Prayer is important in every aspect of our lives, and marriage is not an exception.

I remember watching a video and it stated “Don’t let the thing you prayed for become the thing that distracts you from God”. That statement struck me! Anything you put before God is an idol. I prayed for YEARS, and even fasted at times to one day be married to a man that would love me flaws and all & that would understand my calling. I received this gift via my husband.

At times, in all honesty, I am not doing well balancing everything. It is still a work in progress. Your prayer life is something that is extremely important. Personally, once my prayer life is off track, God always has a funny way of reminding me it is time to get back on track. I have to remain in constant communication with Christ … He is the life line.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 states “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”  Pray without ceasing. That means pray about any and every thing. Cover your wife/husband, friends and family with prayer. It is important that you are constant in prayer because the enemy is at work. The devil does not want us to be happy, experience joy or even peace. We have to do our due diligence to be in prayer.

At times we may be afraid to pray because we do not know what to say. Romans 8:26 states “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans”. Even when we don’t know how to pray, the Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf. We should take comfort in that. There may be situations in your marriage you cannot pray about because you don’t know what to say – PRAY ANYWAY!!!

My prayer is that God will teach us to pray, and for us to be disciplined enough to make time for Him daily. Let’s not get so caught up in the day to day things that we forget what truly matters. We don’t always know the right things to say, but we know that He does. He knows what’s best for our marriage, and He can give us the right words.

Let’s make it a point to pray throughout the day. There are so many moments—so many ups and downs in our lives—and we need to remember to stop and give thanks to God, and to stop and ask for His help. May we be in a constant state of prayer, knowing He is always near and moving in our lives.

To my followers who are single – Learn the importance of prayer NOW! Don’t think that you will get it together when you are married. It is important that you lay a good foundation now that you are able to build on. Make time to pray for your family, friends, schooling, career and even future mate.

To my followers who are married – Ensure that your marriage is Christ-centered. Make time to pray separately, but also pray together. During your separate time be honest with God about your frustrations and challenges. In your time together always ask God to be the third strand in your cord (Ecclesiastes 4:12). There is nothing that can come against you if you are a standing together in prayer (united front).

For His Glory Only,
XOXO
Danielle J.

No Stagnation: Relationships

For this edition we will be discussing stagnation in our relationships.

Remember the definition: Being stagnant means having stopped, as by ceasing to run or flow; failure to develop, progress, or advance. The state or quality of being or feeling sluggish and/or dull.

Relationships are so important. For this blog post I will be focusing on relationships such as boyfriend/girlfriend, engaged couples and married couples. The next blog post I’ll touch more on friendships.

The relationship between man and woman should be a reflection of God. Many times we make it something that is very selfish and self-fulfilling and forget about God and His views. I am definitely not and expert in this area! I’ve only been married 7 months, however, through counseling, mentorship, reading the Bible and other books I have gained some pointers for success.

Here are some things that have worked/are working for my husband and I.

Keep God First – Keeping Christ at the center is a must. If as a couple you keep Christ first, there will be nothing you cannot conquer. When problems arise you both will have the attitude of “what would Jesus want us to do”. A Christ-centered relationship allows you to remember that it is about Him and not your flesh.

Spiritual Beliefs – Make sure that the core values you both have is aligned. This also includes ethics and moral values. Discuss these items early on in the relationship and keep open communication on various topics that arise spiritually.

Weekly Date Nights – I am a big supporter of date nights. Make it a point to spend time with each other. Besides the spiritual aspect, this is one of my biggest words of advice to couples.  Date nights do not have to be expensive. It can be a walk in the park, picnic, movies … whatever. The most important thing is to focus on each other, no phones and no distractions.

Communication – This is vital in any relationship. There will be times where this will be tested but open communication is needed. Create an environment where you two are open to speak freely about anything. If this is an area where you struggle, work on it.  

Love Language – I wrote a blog post specifically dealing with the Five Love Languages. Check it out here.

Balance – There needs to be a balance where each person feels that they are able to do the thing(s) that they enjoy.  Some call it “me time” others say “personal time” or enjoying their hobbies. Allow your partner to do the things that they enjoy. Everything needs to be balanced.

Boundaries – This is a vast topic. It is important to set boundaries with friends, family and in-loves (in-laws). Outsiders can be instrumental or detrimental to your relationship. As a couple you need to set boundaries to what each person is comfortable with. This also is aligned with communication.

Love in Action – It is easy to love in words … to say what sounds good. However, what are your actions saying? Love is a verb. Show your love! Actions speak louder.

Seek to Understand – This is the common theme in my life at the moment – Seek to understand, not to be understood. We all have likes/dislikes and it part of our “make-up”. Seek to understand your partner and their likes/dislikes. Don’t always make everything about you. Seek to understand each other.

Understand Differences – This week’s Wifey Wednesday blog was about understanding each other’s differences. Allow your differences to work for your good. What you are lacking, your spouse may bring that exact thing to the table. Remember you are working as a team.

Finances – Prior to getting married, I did research on the things that may cause divorce. In every article finances was mentioned. Opposites attract so many times you will see the “spender” with the “saver”. It is important that as you are working together as a team, your goals and visions are aligned financial. In the areas of weakness, it is important that each party works together for a common goal.

Sex (For my MARRIED couples only) – Sex is a big component in marriage. Many of the components mentioned in this blog post ties into sex. There needs to be an open line of communication of expectations, seeking to understand likes/dislikes and balance.

*Bonus* To my control freaks (especially my females) – This is definitely my area of weakness and I’ll be honest to let you know I am still working on it. If you are a planner, you want everything in order and it brings you comfort in knowing what is next. One of the best things you can do is relinquish your control and give it to God. Allow your mate to be themselves, even if it means that they are spontaneous and do not plan every detail. You will be ok!

Let’s work on improving our relationships and ensuring it is glorifying God.

For His Glory Only,
XOXO
Danielle J.