When I was about 16 yrs old, I attended a Haitian church. The pastor’s wife, Sr. Denis led the youth group in prayers and taught us worship songs. She also taught us how to pray and fast to ask God for various things. She told the group full of young women to start praying for our mate. She said her prayer for our group of young ladies was to finish school with a degree, marry a God fearing man and have children. Growing up in a traditional family with both a mother and father in the home, I wanted the same for my future family. So I started praying, fasting and seeking God’s face to achieve these goals.
A few years later at age 19, I was teaching my Sunday school class when a man opened the door by error. He was looking for his own Sunday school class but he got lost. I’ve never seen him before. He stood there and he later said he was amazed on how excited the kids were in my Sunday school class. We were playing a Bible jeopardy game and the kids were getting all the answers right and enjoyed the game. He later called my house and asked me to his Valentine’s day banquet at his Christian school. It was the first time someone asked me on a date, I was very nervous and excited. From there, we started a relationship. At that time, my family and friends approved. He was a Christian man, went to a Christian school, preached a few sermons at the church, and he was very funny. Everything appeared right on the outside but things started to shift…and things shifted fast.
After a couple months, we experienced our first fight. I’ve never met someone who got so angry during a disagreement, so angry that it would turn physical. I needed some wisdom so I called his sister that lived in New Jersey at that time. I met her a month earlier and I knew she was someone he looked up to and respected a lot so I sought her opinion on the situation. She warned me. She said that her brother had a bad anger problem and told me to break up with him otherwise things will get worse. Boom! Just like that, she kept it real with me. If that wasn’t a warning, I don’t know what was. Only a fool wouldn’t take heed but I was the fool for 8 years after that. Yes, 8 years. 8 years of manipulation, lies, physical abuse, emotional abuse and depression. 8 years, on and off because whenever he felt like being single he would just break up with me and pursued other girls. And within those 8 years, he did propose marriage to me. We was engaged but that engagement lasted for a few months before that ended over an argument. I became so depressed that I dropped out of school, quit my job, stepped down from Sunday school and I isolated myself. With all this happening I lost faith in God’s promises for me.
New Year’s Eve 2011, I did something I’ve never done before. I rang the new year in a nightclub. I always spent New Year’s in church but that year he wanted to go dancing so I went. When I went home, I felt extreme guilt. I prayed and cried to God that night. I told Him that I was sorry for not being in church. I also told God that this relationship didn’t feel right but I didn’t have the strength to end it on my own. I asked God to intervene, end the relationship and heal my heart from all the hurt that came in the relationship. I asked God if this wasn’t the man for me to marry, just allow him to leave. 3 weeks later, that’s exactly what he did. He left in a terrible and hurtful way. But God gave me the strength to not run after him to come back. I thanked God for answering my prayer. My prayers then started changing. I started asking God for restoration to restore everything I lost in the past 8 years. After that break up, I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I was hurt on how it ended but I made a decision that I wasn’t going to allow that to bring me down like it did in the past. If he broke up with me before I would get depressed and isolate myself. All that changed in 2012. I enjoyed myself by going on vacations, going out to different events with new people I’ve met. I made a decision to let go and allow God to direct my steps to happiness.
In the same year, a good friend of mine told me that he wanted me to meet someone. He told me that this man was a male version of myself. He was surprised that I didn’t already know him since he was very popular in the Haitian community. I agreed and I met Jean at a concert. He was such a gentleman. He kissed my hand when he met me, said I was beautiful and that I blew him away. He was very respectful, sweet, a family man, caring, patient and strong. He had all the qualities of my father which I admired. I always prayed for my mate to be like my father. As time passed, Jean and I fell in love. What I love most about him is that he loved me despite my past relationship. A lot of men would have not taken a woman seriously if she was in a dead end relationship for 8 years but he was not like most men. We loved each other and that love was so pure. We got married in court in November 2013 and later had our wedding in July the following year. We found out we were expecting a child in June. We were overjoyed when we learned we were going to be parents. I was able to wish him a happy father’s day on Father’s day, that was another answered prayer. Today we are happily married and have 2 beautiful baby girls. Our firstborn daughter Jordyn and our second baby girl Jenesis. They are our joys.
Life is beautiful because my God is faithful. For years I prayed for what I have today. Despite the rough 8 years, I came out victorious after making a decision of being obedient to God and to allow Him to be God in my life. That was a huge lesson.
So let’s do the checklist:
I prayed to finish college, to have a degree and to have a career. ✔️
I prayed to marry a God fearing man ✔️
I prayed to have children (preferably girls) ✔️
The lesson is God is faithful even through your disobedience. Just make it easier on yourself. Save yourself from the pain, wasted time and headache. Be obedient to God, wait on Him and He will bless you more than what you can think or ask for yourself.
Deuteronomy 7:9 Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful Godwho keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.
Thank you Sophia for sharing your testimony with us! We serve a God that is faithful and able to restore! So encouraging to know that even in our moments of despair, God is working!
For HIS glory only,