Where to start... To think where I was almost four years ago and compare it to where I am now is a serious blessing. When people look at me now they see a woman that is strong, sweet, God fearing, and seems to have it all together. What they don't see is the filth, pain, and shame that once consumed me. Another thing they don't see is the daily battle that I fight to keep the enemy from consuming me with my past and negative thoughts. A little background about me is I'm 25. I will be 26 this year God willing. I'm married and have been for almost five years. I have a son named Logan who is seriously a gift from God. I also recently started my own health and wellness business which is great, because I love to help women. Now that you know a little about my present, let me tell you about my past.
About four years ago I was in such a dark place. I really felt empty and like I was lacking something. Since I felt this way I came down so hard on my husband. I felt like he wasn't enough and he wasn't doing enough. I wanted him to be perfect so bad and fix everything I had on going inside, but was totally clueless that the Lord was tugging on my heart. Instead of responding to the Lord's tug I went in the opposite direction of him and what he wanted and decided to start talking to a man that was not my husband. How silly of me right?! That's what happens when you don't have God as the head of your life. You make stupid decisions that lead to serious consequences. Choosing to talk to another man led to the breaking of my husband's heart and our family.
Once we separated I sunk into depression and felt more alone than ever. I remember being up crying at 12:30am and not having anyone to call. It had been so long since I really prayed. I had no idea where I should start or if the Lord even wanted to hear what I had to say. I thank God that I had a friend who told me there's no special way to pray. The Lord just needs me to come to him. She gave me the idea to lay down on the floor and pray. She told me once I get up I should leave all my burdens and all my pain down on the floor, sending them right back to hell where they came from. I soon began to journal after that about how I felt about everything. It was in those quiet moments before the Lord when I had no one else, that he saved me and showed me that he can be everything that I need. He showed me that he can take all of my mess and turn it into my testimony to glorify him. I learned the real meaning of Jesus' death and how I've been made new because of his blood. The scripture I memorized to remind me of this is 2 Cor 5:17, "anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun".
Although my husband and I are still separated I can tell you that I have never been so complete! The Lord has given me so much joy and peace. He has loved me out of such a dark place and he continues to keep me and I am so undeserving. The Lord has taught me so much about himself, being a child of his, being a wife, and being a mom. I now take marriage so serious and look forward to the day that he restores my marriage.
Life is beautiful because Jesus died for me. Through the blood of Jesus I have been forgiven and can do all things! Life is beautiful means that although I may face deep waters, the Lord promises to be right there with me. Isaiah 43:2
My message to all wives out there is to keep God first and don't give up on your marriage. Don't look for satisfaction anywhere else. If you feel that you or your husband is lacking anything take it before the Lord. If you're struggling in your marriage be intentional about praying because it does work! For the ladies that aren't married, don't rush it. Make sure you have a strong, complete relationship with the Lord and make sure you're complete in yourself. These things are a must if you want to have a marriage that glorifies the Lord. To everyone know that the Lord is good. He loves us all so much. Don't be afraid to allow him to step in and take control of your life. It will be the best decision you've ever made. Surrender to the Lord and watch what he can do for you.
Mya - Thank you for sharing your story and being so transparent. As sisters in Christ we will be keeping you in prayer. God is a God of restoration and He is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than we can image.
Ladies, let's stand in the gap for Mya! Keep her uplifted in prayer. That is our job as believers. Also, please support her blog. You can find it here.
For HIS glory only…..
May God richly bless you!