#testimony

I AM BACK: Mourning into Dancing!

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy. Psalm 30:11
 

I AM BACK!!! I know I have been “ghost” and I wanted to provide some clarity on what has been taking place "behind the scenes".

All I can say is that the first half of the year has been quite a rollercoaster. So much has happened in such a short period of time. It has truly been a journey of understanding who stands with me.  From planning my first La Belle Vie Essentials event to dealing with an attack on my father’s health … Life can literally change in an instant. The verse “If God is for us, who can be against us” came to life this season for my family & I. I am so happy that today I can recite Psalm 30:11. God has changed my tears to joy and I am forever grateful.

The time period from the end of May and most of June, I truly felt like my world stood still. It was as if I was walking in a fog and I literally took things day by day. Those who know me, know that I am truly a “daddy’s girl”. I have a great relationship with both of my parents, my mom is my best friend. My father and I share a special bond and I consider myself his “right-hand”. I have pestered my parents to take care of their health this year. They are both ministers and are accustomed to putting individuals before themselves. During a routine heart catheter procedure the doctors found that my father had three clogged arteries. At the end of May he had a stint put into one of the arteries, and the day before my birthday he had heart bypass surgery.

My family leaned on God, our personal relationships/support, family, church family and friends. It is in this season that I learned it is in the darkest hour you know who stands with you. I will be forever be grateful to those who stood in the gap with my family by providing around the clock prayer, words of encouragement, check in calls/texts, sitting with us in the hospital, holding our hands and literally assisting us in one of the most difficult times of our lives.

Even as I write this, tears are streaming down my face. I am known as the “backbone” for my family and a source of assistance and strength. I held it together for my family, but every evening during that time period I would just go home and cry alone or in front of my husband. I just told God I wasn’t ready to lose my father. People at work were shocked to find out all the details of what happened later on because I kept things together. Secret is … I wasn’t relying on my own strength. I had God and a multitude of individuals who were surrounding me in prayer.

I am happy to say that my father is doing well, and is recovering. Each day he is gaining his strength back and getting back to his “normal” step. We know that this a long road to recovery and lifestyle changes but we are grateful that he is alive and was released from the hospital the Friday before Father’s Day so we could properly celebrate him.

Although ultimately my father did not want the bypass surgery, we accepted God’s will in this situation. We received so much prayer and confirmation during this time. I just wanted to encourage someone to let you know that even if things do not end up the way you anticipated, God is still in control. He WILL turn your mourning into dancing. One of my mentors reminded me “God is. God can. God will”.

There were other factors that kept me busy for the past couple months, however, I wanted to share this testimony. I look forward to getting back on track with all the blog posts, videos, events and new apparel. Stay tuned & God Bless!!

For His Glory Only,
XOXO
Danielle Joseph

Share Your Story: Attitude of Gratitude

 

I want to begin by saying MY GOD IS AWESOME! He has blessed me with a loving husband and 3 beautiful & amazing children. I love being a wife and mother. I feel that it's one of the most precious gifts (among others) that I was given. But I must say that this journey has not been easy.

 

On August 16, 2009 my faith was put to the ultimate test. It was a beautiful summer morning. My oldest son was 7, my daughter was 2 and my youngest son was 9 weeks old was home from the NICU. This was the 1st morning that I woke up without a massive headache. So I decided to enjoy the day with my kids. Then my hubby and I got a sitter and decided to go watch a movie. Well.... this was the quiet before another big storm...

 

During the movie my headache came back, and then I realized that my right leg felt like it was falling asleep, it felt weak. I kept shifting then told my husband that I didn't feel well. We decided to leave and head home. As hubby was hailing a cab, I began to experience the worse headache of my life. This scared me! I said a silent prayer. My ultimate fear was happening but the doctors and specialist that I saw since giving birth, said that I was too young for this to happen. Even the one a specialist I saw the day before told me I was too young to have a heart condition.

 

My husband had to carry me up 3 flights of stairs to our apartment (which was not easy being that I just gave birth, I was so heavy). My leg was too weak and my pain was excruciating. He laid me on the bed and ran to get me some pain medication. I remember calling out to him from my bedroom and he couldn't understand me. When I tried to say something to my oldest son he couldn't understand me either. That's when I realized what was happening. I reached for my cell phone to put my thoughts in text.. tears filled my eyes as I realized that I could not lift up the cell with my right hand... I quickly grabbed the cell with my left hand and typed CALL 911 I AM HAVING A STROKE! 

 

As I was being rushed to the emergency room I remember my husband saying "My wife is only 30". At the emergency room the doctor told my husband that I was having a stroke. This was the first time I had ever seen him cry. I remember thinking.. who is going to care for my family? My kids were so young. I was in the stoke unit for a week then had intense rehabilitation as an inpatient at the hospital.  I was the youngest stroke patient on the floor. I had to learn how to walk and use my right hand again. I kept praying, fighting and focused on getting back to my kids. 

 

Not being able to do the simple things that we take for granted daily like scratch my cheek, feed or bathe myself, stand up, walk and hug my kids was the worst ever. BUT GOD!!! It took me a year and a half to be strong enough to walk on my own without a cane. Lots of support, self-love, family love, prayer & strength got me through this fight. I appreciate the second chance that God gave me. Sometimes you have to be cut down to your lowest so that God can build you to your strongest. Appreciate every day that you are given. Have gratitude. Time is a precious gifts. Never loose faith. 

 

Thank you so much Jasmine Bernard-Straker for sharing your story. We appreciate you being open with your testimony and reminding us that God is a God of second chances. May God richly bless you and your family!

 

For His Glory Only,

XOXO

Danielle J.

Share Your Story: Adrienne

Marcus and I met at Florida Agricultural and Mechanical University (FAMU) as college freshmen. We shared a chemistry lab class together for the Spring 2010 semester. We spoke occasionally on a "hi" and "bye" basis, and at the end of the spring 2010 semester, we went our separate ways pursuing different degrees: me- BS in Health Science/Occupation and Wellness, him- doctorate of pharmacy. I graduated in the spring of 2013 then entered in my studies as an occupational therapy student at the University of Alabama at Birmingham, and Marcus continued at FAMU as a PharmD candidate.

 

Fast forward to the spring of 2015, I was in my 2nd year of my Masters of Science in Occupational Therapy degree, Marcus a P4 PharmD candidate. Marcus and I began engaging in conversation on Facebook through a bible verse challenge in which we shared our favorite bible verses with one another. One particular night, I shared a sermon that I watched on YouTube with Marcus. Marcus then messaged me to discuss the sermon, and we began conversing frequently about GOD which then led to their courtship, which started on March 24th, 2015. Right away, we set boundaries and vowed to honor GOD by: not engaging in physical intimacy, and by promoting GOD's word, using our courtship for GOD's purpose and honor. Less than a year later, we were engaged on March 20th, 2016. 

 

Marcus and I have realized that flesh (humans) without the spirit of GOD is disastrous. We can do nothing without Christ, which means we need Him for ALL things- including loving one another. Christ calls us to remain in Him, which means- remain obedient and focused on His word. “Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me...........But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted!” John 15:4, 7 (NLT). During our courtship, we focused on remaining in Christ and growing into our GOD-given roles and purpose. By focusing on GOD and using scripture to guide our actions we have been able to work through problems and also avoid many problems.

We have learned that we can only do things with GOD's strength. Our strength comes solely from Him.

 

 

Life is beautiful because GOD created it. Everything He creates is beautiful. The grass is as green as our perspective, so daily we must choose to see things beautifully and be grateful and content for all that we have. Our outlook has become more focused on what Christ thinks about us instead of what people think about us. We cannot please both Christ and this world for the standards of both are different. So we work to be approved by GOD.

 

We would encourage anyone in courtships to pursue GOD and to stay focused on Him, not on anyone or anything of this world. Don't be distracted- distractions are avoided by focusing on Christ. Every answer to any question is found in the Bible. Use it daily.

Adrienne – Thank you so much for sharing your love story! May God bless your upcoming nuptials and union. We appreciate your support!

For His Glory Only,
XOXO

Danielle J.

Blind Faith

My name is Ludnie Saint Julien.  I was born and raised in Haiti and I moved to the United States six years ago. It has been a good journey for my family and I, and we have been blessed. Like everyone, I have a story and to share it with you.

When I got married 6 years ago, I thought everything would be perfect. When I was growing up in Haiti, I always thought that America was a country where people have a good life. For example, I thought Americans had all have money;  which meant they can shop any time they want, never run out of food or anything just like we see in the movies. It didn’t take me long after I moved here to realize that they were all dreams. God has shown us some ways.

The struggle started about 2-3 months after my husband and I got married. First thing, he was hospitalized & diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. He almost had a heart attack. The struggle continued. He couldn’t find a good job although he was a  licensed Registered Nurse.  He applied everywhere, no one ever called him. Sometimes he would find part time jobs with an agency but work 1-5 days a month.  So you can only imagine how we struggled. How can you survive with that? I recall one time we were looking for 25 cents to buy a gallon of water, we couldn’t find it. We were opening drawers looking for pennies to see if we can reach 25 cents. I just remember that even with everything that was going on in our life, we never stopped praying. We never stopped going to church and participating in anything. We never stopped believing that it was a test that either God was giving us, OR that the devil was mad at us for doing a good thing (which is not living in fornication and that we got married).

Later on, we moved to Kissimmee with the help of a friend who offered us hospitality so my husband could find a job. God blessed him with a job, we didn’t take long to move to our own apartment & things started to get better. It didn’t take until we said that we were ready to have children that the devil started to work again. I got pregnant on the first try. Everyone was happy! I even started having morning sickness. Things were going great …. and then BOOM! one day I miscarried. I simply said ‘’Okay God, if it’s not Your will now, I’ll wait’’.  I just took it to my Lord. It took me two years before I got pregnant again. Everything was going well, and by my 2nd trimester, my body started to go back to normal. My belly was growing, and when we went for a checkup, but there was no heartbeat. The worst part about it was that they found out that I had a partial molar pregnancy. The baby died since 14 weeks, and they had to do an emergency D&C (dilation and curettage) because I was getting infected internally. That day, I felt the same way I was when I received the news about my mother’s death. I was like really God??  NOT AGAIN! But I had to stay strong for my husband and my family.

We had to wait for a whole year to follow up with high risk pregnancy by having blood test done every month. They would monitor my hormone levels closely to make sure that I did not develop cancer before we would be allowed to try getting pregnant again. When they finally told us we were ready, we quickly we started to try. We tried everything. I took all kinds of hormones. Some of the hormones were dangerous. For instance, I was taking some hormones that would increase my eggs maturation to the point to make me release more than one egg each month. The risk of taking it for a long period of time is a high chance of developing cancer. That hormone also had seeveral side effects. A year passed, but still nothing happened. My body was so stressed; it started to shut down. I became frustrated. I was desperate. I used to cry in my car coming from work to home. I cried in my bed. I couldn’t pray anymore. I kept asking God why me. I did everything He wanted me to. I’m married; I go to church, I pray, I help others. Why was everyone else having children and not me. I even went further to say that some people were not even married because I was so mad at Him.

My husband on the other end was complaining about how he was getting old and didn't have a child. It was frustrating. Four years of marriage and we couldn’t have any child.  One day while I was at church, Pastor Danielle was preaching about BLIND FAITH. She came to me and said, God will give you what you’re asking for, but He wants you to go in closet, on your knees, and talk to him. This sermon changed my life. That day, I realized that sometimes God wants us to stop begging and stop asking, but just put your faith into Him. He knows exactly what we want, but He wants us to ask and believe; just wait for Him. So I stopped everything; all hormones, other twins med, and stopped going to the doctor. I went on my knees and did that prayer:  “God you know what I want. I’ve been crying and begging, and nothing happens. Today it is the last day I’m going to ask you this. I am not doing it anymore; I am not crying anymore. I am your servant, and I shouldn’t be unhappy. Now, there is one thing I am asking.  If you give me a baby before the year ends, on the christening day, I will testify, and I will feed the entire church’’. I also told Him that I don’t want to have a high risk pregnancy, and I want to have a normal delivery with no epidural.  TWO MONTH LATER WE WERE EXPECTING and God have given us a beautiful, healthy baby girl named GRACE-ANN. She is my grace from God. Everything went the way I ask Him. After my first trimester at the high risk clinic, the doctor told me to find a regular gynecologist because everything is normal. I was not "at risk". Yes God, yes, just the way I asked Him. I smile with the doctor knowing that I got another the victory. And to make my testimony complete, I had normal delivery with no epidural, and I didn’t suffer at all. That was one of the best experience of my life, and without God, all these wouldn’t happen. 

Life is beautiful when we let God keep control over everything. I never lost faith on Him. When my husband and I didn’t have food to eat, we fasted the whole day. God knows your situation. He knows your needs. He will fulfill them when the time is right. He just wants you to be patient. In my situation, my husband and I thought we were ready, but God Himself wanted us to wait. While we were waiting, we were exercising our faith. And today, He puts us in a better place; a place where we can actually share our story, and encourage others to keep walking with Him in whatever circumstances in life. Started from a studio in little Haiti to a five bedroom house; from 5 years trying to conceive, one miscarriage and a dying baby to a beautiful, hyper, smart, and healthy daughter. We are blessed, and we can’t thank Him enough for His blessings upon us.  He can do the same for you. Don’t be discouraged. Just put your faith stronger in Him. Just like me, if you believe, you HAVE BLIND FAITH and start making plans in the name of Jesus because life is too beautiful for you to be sad or crying all the time. He will answer your prayers.

May God bless you and everything in your life including your will and your plans.

Thank you for reading my family’s story! Be Blessed!

Special thanks to Ludnie for sharing her story. This truly touched me because I recall as she labored in prayer to get pregnant. I recall during our Father's Day service I had her pin her husband with a flower in faith that he would be a father by that following year ... and it happened!! This testimony inspires us to have blind faith and not look at our situations but to God. Again, thank you Ludnie! We appreciate your transparency.

For His Glory Only,
XOXO
Danielle

Share Your Story: God is Faithful

When I was about 16 yrs old, I attended a Haitian church. The pastor’s wife, Sr. Denis led the youth group in prayers and taught us worship songs. She also taught us how to pray and fast to ask God for various things. She told the group full of young women to start praying for our mate. She said her prayer for our group of young ladies was to finish school with a degree, marry a God fearing man and have children. Growing up in a traditional family with both a mother and father in the home, I wanted the same for my future family. So I started praying, fasting and seeking God’s face to achieve these goals.  A few years later at age 19, I was teaching my Sunday school class when a man opened the door by error. He was looking for his own Sunday school class but he got lost. I’ve never seen him before. He stood there and he later said he was amazed on how excited the kids were in my Sunday school class. We were playing a Bible jeopardy game and the kids were getting all the answers right and enjoyed the game. He later called my house and asked me to his Valentine’s day banquet at his Christian school. It was the first time someone asked me on a date, I was very nervous and excited. From there, we started a relationship. At that time, my family and friends approved. He was a Christian man, went to a Christian school, preached a few sermons at the church, and he was very funny. Everything appeared right on the outside but things started to shift…and things shifted fast.   After a couple months, we experienced our first fight. I’ve never met someone who got so angry during a disagreement, so angry that it would turn physical. I needed some wisdom so I called his sister that lived in New Jersey at that time. I met her a month earlier and I knew she was someone he looked up to and respected a lot so I sought her opinion on the situation. She warned me. She said that her brother had a bad anger problem and told me to break up with him otherwise things will get worse. Boom! Just like that, she kept it real with me. If that wasn’t a warning, I don’t know what was. Only a fool wouldn’t take heed but I was the fool for 8 years after that. Yes, 8 years. 8 years of manipulation, lies, physical abuse, emotional abuse and depression. 8 years, on and off because whenever he felt like being single he would just break up with me and pursued other girls. And within those 8 years, he did propose marriage to me. We was engaged but that engagement lasted for a few months before that ended over an argument. I became so depressed that I dropped out of school, quit my job, stepped down from Sunday school and I isolated myself. With all this happening I lost faith in God’s promises for me.  New Year’s Eve 2011, I did something I’ve never done before. I rang the new year in a nightclub. I always spent New Year’s in church but that year he wanted to go dancing so I went. When I went home, I felt extreme guilt. I prayed and cried to God that night. I told Him that I was sorry for not being in church. I also told God that this relationship didn’t feel right but I didn’t have the strength to end it on my own. I asked God to intervene, end the relationship and heal my heart from all the hurt that came in the relationship. I asked God if this wasn’t the man for me to marry, just allow him to leave. 3 weeks later, that’s exactly what he did. He left in a terrible and hurtful way. But God gave me the strength to not run after him to come back. I thanked God for answering my prayer. My prayers then started changing. I started asking God for restoration to restore everything I lost in the past 8 years. After that break up, I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I was hurt on how it ended but I made a decision that I wasn’t going to allow that to bring me down like it did in the past. If he broke up with me before I would get depressed and isolate myself. All that changed in 2012. I enjoyed myself by going on vacations, going out to different events with new people I’ve met. I made a decision to let go and allow God to direct my steps to happiness.   In the same year, a good friend of mine told me that he wanted me to meet someone. He told me that this man was a male version of myself. He was surprised that I didn’t already know him since he was very popular in the Haitian community. I agreed and I met Jean at a concert. He was such a gentleman. He kissed my hand when he met me, said I was beautiful and that I blew him away. He was very respectful, sweet, a family man, caring, patient and strong. He had all the qualities of my father which I admired. I always prayed for my mate to be like my father. As time passed, Jean and I fell in love. What I love most about him is that he loved me despite my past relationship. A lot of men would have not taken a woman seriously if she was in a dead end relationship for 8 years but he was not like most men. We loved each other and that love was so pure. We got married in court in November 2013 and later had our wedding in July the following year. We found out we were expecting a child in June. We were overjoyed when we learned we were going to be parents. I was able to wish him a happy father’s day on Father’s day, that was another answered prayer. Today we are happily married and have 2 beautiful baby girls. Our firstborn daughter Jordyn and our second baby girl Jenesis. They are our joys.  Life is beautiful because my God is faithful. For years I prayed for what I have today. Despite the rough 8 years, I came out victorious after making a decision of being obedient to God and to allow Him to be God in my life. That was a huge lesson.   So let’s do the checklist:  I prayed to finish college, to have a degree and to have a career. ✔️  I prayed to marry a God fearing man ✔️  I prayed to have children (preferably girls) ✔️  The lesson is God is faithful even through your disobedience. Just make it easier on yourself. Save yourself from the pain, wasted time and headache. Be obedient to God, wait on Him and He will bless you more than what you can think or ask for yourself.    Deuteronomy 7:9   Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful Godwho keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.      Thank you Sophia for sharing your testimony with us! We serve a God that is faithful and able to restore!  So encouraging to know that even in our moments of despair, God is working!    For HIS glory only, XOXO Danielle

When I was about 16 yrs old, I attended a Haitian church. The pastor’s wife, Sr. Denis led the youth group in prayers and taught us worship songs. She also taught us how to pray and fast to ask God for various things. She told the group full of young women to start praying for our mate. She said her prayer for our group of young ladies was to finish school with a degree, marry a God fearing man and have children. Growing up in a traditional family with both a mother and father in the home, I wanted the same for my future family. So I started praying, fasting and seeking God’s face to achieve these goals.

A few years later at age 19, I was teaching my Sunday school class when a man opened the door by error. He was looking for his own Sunday school class but he got lost. I’ve never seen him before. He stood there and he later said he was amazed on how excited the kids were in my Sunday school class. We were playing a Bible jeopardy game and the kids were getting all the answers right and enjoyed the game. He later called my house and asked me to his Valentine’s day banquet at his Christian school. It was the first time someone asked me on a date, I was very nervous and excited. From there, we started a relationship. At that time, my family and friends approved. He was a Christian man, went to a Christian school, preached a few sermons at the church, and he was very funny. Everything appeared right on the outside but things started to shift…and things shifted fast. 

After a couple months, we experienced our first fight. I’ve never met someone who got so angry during a disagreement, so angry that it would turn physical. I needed some wisdom so I called his sister that lived in New Jersey at that time. I met her a month earlier and I knew she was someone he looked up to and respected a lot so I sought her opinion on the situation. She warned me. She said that her brother had a bad anger problem and told me to break up with him otherwise things will get worse. Boom! Just like that, she kept it real with me. If that wasn’t a warning, I don’t know what was. Only a fool wouldn’t take heed but I was the fool for 8 years after that. Yes, 8 years. 8 years of manipulation, lies, physical abuse, emotional abuse and depression. 8 years, on and off because whenever he felt like being single he would just break up with me and pursued other girls. And within those 8 years, he did propose marriage to me. We was engaged but that engagement lasted for a few months before that ended over an argument. I became so depressed that I dropped out of school, quit my job, stepped down from Sunday school and I isolated myself. With all this happening I lost faith in God’s promises for me.

New Year’s Eve 2011, I did something I’ve never done before. I rang the new year in a nightclub. I always spent New Year’s in church but that year he wanted to go dancing so I went. When I went home, I felt extreme guilt. I prayed and cried to God that night. I told Him that I was sorry for not being in church. I also told God that this relationship didn’t feel right but I didn’t have the strength to end it on my own. I asked God to intervene, end the relationship and heal my heart from all the hurt that came in the relationship. I asked God if this wasn’t the man for me to marry, just allow him to leave. 3 weeks later, that’s exactly what he did. He left in a terrible and hurtful way. But God gave me the strength to not run after him to come back. I thanked God for answering my prayer. My prayers then started changing. I started asking God for restoration to restore everything I lost in the past 8 years. After that break up, I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I was hurt on how it ended but I made a decision that I wasn’t going to allow that to bring me down like it did in the past. If he broke up with me before I would get depressed and isolate myself. All that changed in 2012. I enjoyed myself by going on vacations, going out to different events with new people I’ve met. I made a decision to let go and allow God to direct my steps to happiness. 

In the same year, a good friend of mine told me that he wanted me to meet someone. He told me that this man was a male version of myself. He was surprised that I didn’t already know him since he was very popular in the Haitian community. I agreed and I met Jean at a concert. He was such a gentleman. He kissed my hand when he met me, said I was beautiful and that I blew him away. He was very respectful, sweet, a family man, caring, patient and strong. He had all the qualities of my father which I admired. I always prayed for my mate to be like my father. As time passed, Jean and I fell in love. What I love most about him is that he loved me despite my past relationship. A lot of men would have not taken a woman seriously if she was in a dead end relationship for 8 years but he was not like most men. We loved each other and that love was so pure. We got married in court in November 2013 and later had our wedding in July the following year. We found out we were expecting a child in June. We were overjoyed when we learned we were going to be parents. I was able to wish him a happy father’s day on Father’s day, that was another answered prayer. Today we are happily married and have 2 beautiful baby girls. Our firstborn daughter Jordyn and our second baby girl Jenesis. They are our joys.

Life is beautiful because my God is faithful. For years I prayed for what I have today. Despite the rough 8 years, I came out victorious after making a decision of being obedient to God and to allow Him to be God in my life. That was a huge lesson. 

So let’s do the checklist:

I prayed to finish college, to have a degree and to have a career. ✔️

I prayed to marry a God fearing man ✔️

I prayed to have children (preferably girls) ✔️

The lesson is God is faithful even through your disobedience. Just make it easier on yourself. Save yourself from the pain, wasted time and headache. Be obedient to God, wait on Him and He will bless you more than what you can think or ask for yourself. 

Deuteronomy 7:9 Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful Godwho keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.


Thank you Sophia for sharing your testimony with us! We serve a God that is faithful and able to restore!  So encouraging to know that even in our moments of despair, God is working!

For HIS glory only,
XOXO
Danielle

The Prodigal's Daughter

Where to start... To think where I was almost four years ago and compare it to where I am now is a serious blessing. When people look at me now they see a woman that is strong, sweet, God fearing, and seems to have it all together. What they don't see is the filth, pain, and shame that once consumed me. Another thing they don't see is the daily battle that I fight to keep the enemy from consuming me with my past and negative thoughts. A little background about me is I'm 25. I will be 26 this year God willing. I'm married and have been for almost five years. I have a son named Logan who is seriously a gift from God. I also recently started my own health and wellness business which is great, because I love to help women. Now that you know a little about my present, let me tell you about my past.

About four years ago I was in such a dark place. I really felt empty and like I was lacking something. Since I felt this way I came down so hard on my husband. I felt like he wasn't enough and he wasn't doing enough. I wanted him to be perfect so bad and fix everything I had on going inside, but was totally clueless that the Lord was tugging on my heart. Instead of responding to the Lord's tug I went in the opposite direction of him and what he wanted and decided to start talking to a man that was not my husband. How silly of me right?! That's what happens when you don't have God as the head of your life. You make stupid decisions that lead to serious consequences. Choosing to talk to another man led to the breaking of my husband's heart and our family.

Once we separated I sunk into depression and felt more alone than ever. I remember being up crying at 12:30am and not having anyone to call. It had been so long since I really prayed. I had no idea where I should start or if the Lord even wanted to hear what I had to say. I thank God that I had a friend who told me there's no special way to pray. The Lord just needs me to come to him. She gave me the idea to lay down on the floor and pray. She told me once I get up I should leave all my burdens and all my pain down on the floor, sending them right back to hell where they came from. I soon began to journal after that about how I felt about everything. It was in those quiet moments before the Lord when I had no one else, that he saved me and showed me that he can be everything that I need. He showed me that he can take all of my mess and turn it into my testimony to glorify him. I learned the real meaning of Jesus' death and how I've been made new because of his blood. The scripture I memorized to remind me of this is 2 Cor 5:17, "anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun".

Although my husband and I are still separated I can tell you that I have never been so complete! The Lord has given me so much joy and peace. He has loved me out of such a dark place and he continues to keep me and I am so undeserving. The Lord has taught me so much about himself, being a child of his, being a wife, and being a mom. I now take marriage so serious and look forward to the day that he restores my marriage.

Life is beautiful because Jesus died for me. Through the blood of Jesus I have been forgiven and can do all things! Life is beautiful means that although I may face deep waters, the Lord promises to be right there with me. Isaiah 43:2

My message to all wives out there is to keep God first and don't give up on your marriage. Don't look for satisfaction anywhere else. If you feel that you or your husband is lacking anything take it before the Lord. If you're struggling in your marriage be intentional about praying because it does work! For the ladies that aren't married, don't rush it. Make sure you have a strong, complete relationship with the Lord and make sure you're complete in yourself. These things are a must if you want to have a marriage that glorifies the Lord. To everyone know that the Lord is good. He loves us all so much. Don't be afraid to allow him to step in and take control of your life. It will be the best decision you've ever made. Surrender to the Lord and watch what he can do for you. 

Mya - Thank you for sharing your story and being so transparent. As sisters in Christ we will be keeping you in prayer. God is a God of restoration and He is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than we can image.

Ladies, let's stand in the gap for Mya! Keep her uplifted in prayer. That is our job as believers. Also, please support her blog. You can find it here.

For HIS glory only…..
May God richly bless you!
XOXO
Danielle

 

 

 

 

Share Your Story: Jeriele

I understand, in my own way, why David said “if it had not been for the Lord on my side…” So many have been through much struggle whether it be physical, financial, or academic. Those hurdles all require a certain amount of will power and dedication from within to stand. Some are easier to overcome then others. I think one of the biggest fights is the one from within. It was for me at least. I am born the first born of a renowned family. They were first generation preachers called and dedicated to ministry from the day they accepted the call.  I used to be pushed away from the circle in youth functions because I was the pastor’s daughter. At times conversations would cease when I came around and I would feel so left out and rejected. I didn’t understand my parents call and mantle at the time, but I do remember feeling alone whenever they went away. I was afraid to share my social setbacks with them because it would hurt them and make want to pull me out of youth activities in effort to protect me. So I never told them. I started to find myself and started bullying boys, I secretly liked them but didn’t know how to express it. That turned into fights and disrespecting teachers. One way or another someone in administration favored me and did not report me. Even in my mess, favor followed me.  I remember in middle school I had my first real crush.  Let me say this, there are mental and emotional collisions that happen in a young girl or a young man’s life that may be just as fatal as a head on collision between to vehicles. Their minds are shattered, hearts torn to pieces, emotionally scared. As I mentioned before, ‘even in my mess, favor followed me’, the word of God says that “the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:17-20. Even when we may be in our darkest place in our minds, God is still near waiting for the moment you realize he never left.  So, my first crush was in middle school. I was so into him and he didn’t know it. I was too afraid to share it and allowed myself to fall into satisfying my desires by imagining what we would be like together. That led right down the wrong path. I began writing explicit poetry and had never read nor watched a second of sexual content. The devil found that emptiness, the hurt, the fear of rejection and silent cry for affection and gnawed at it. He began dating a good friend of mine after I told her how I felt about him. I had even asked her for advice on how to tell him. She betrayed me. We never got together because he abruptly moved back to his island country of Jamaica. I was heartbroken and devastated because though he never knew how I felt, he was my best and only friend. I was emotionally attached to him, now emotionally shattered. Those thoughts of worthlessness and low self-esteem began to lurk into my soul and I began to believe them. I started to believe that I wasn’t pretty enough and not smart enough. I had begun to believe that if I wanted to be with someone, I had to agree to be the side girl. I would never be #1.  I graduated high school and fell for my new crush. He was everything I thought I wanted. Boy was I wrong. Once again I fell for a boy, this time, he in a relationship. The enemy entertained my deep cries for affection and for someone to just touch my soul. Listen, during all this, I was active in my church functions. I had been serving in worship team and working in youth functions. But I must say that I had not yet met with the true and life changing love of God. Not everyone that seems like they have it all together really do. This is where we can miss the mark and never hear the cries behind the bars of teeth of a fake smile.  I must say that my family was always loving and supportive. They did all they could and beyond to show us all (my three siblings and I) as much love and acceptance. It was the emptiness from so long ago that had dug a hole deep in my soul. Caused by social rejection and name calling and struggling with my weight and so many other factors. They had all served as the perfect target for the enemy to try and destroy my future.  This young man and I began dating, and yes, I was the side chick. He touched my insecurities and told me all the right things. He said all the things I wished a man would whisper in my ears from the first sensual poem I had written way back in middle school. I was convinced he was the one. Not only did he touch my soul, but we began to grow intimate. How devastated I was to have fallen so deep, but I was in too far I couldn’t muster up the strength to get out. I was bound and had no idea how to get out of it. The more we saw each other the more my heart and soul was chipped away. He had me. He owned me. I was his and I was bound.  That’s where the enemy tries to capture us. He accelerates us into self-destruction by creating as many opportunities that can tear us down. Notice I said “tries”. The devil tried to imprison my thoughts and forced me to fall into depression and self-condemnation. But God stepped in! My parents sensed the pain and the spiritual warfare and jumped right in to defend me. I will never forget that in a Sunday morning service they stopped church as usual and called a 911 prayer session. They wrapped me up in a white sheet and my mother and father laid over me and prayed me through! The elders and pastors all prayed. It was so powerful and that was my hour of deliverance. About three years of fasting and prayer and building my character and faith in God, I was released and was called out to different preaching engagements. My sound was ready to be heard. I had collided with my destiny that day. I found my identity in God. I was free! No long bound.  God will place people in your life to rescue you from you. Some of our biggest struggles are in our minds. The enemy tries to attack where we are most vulnerable because he knows that that is where my emotions and intellect and will power lies. He makes sure he plants the idea that even our loved ones will never understand and so we pull away. But, if we trust in the Lord we won’t faint. God will help us at break of day (Psalm 91).  I want to encourage a young lady who has had an emotional wreck. You are about to have a collision with your destiny. If you are reading this testimony, you are at the right place at the right time.  I collided with my purpose that Sunday morning wrapped in a sheet. I found love and saw the very face of God. He told me he loved md and his love was far beyond the touch of any man. God’s love touches deeper than the soul, it is eternal! I say just as Paul said, I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love! (Rom. 8:35-39) I share that same love with you and hope that you too will collide with his love, collide with is grace.  When you least expect it, when you have lost control of this vehicle called life - God is right there ready to smash all those pieces back together. You are not lost, as a matter of fact God has been right there with you all along. Trust him to reach out to you right on time!  He did it for me, he will surely do it for you. I found Jesus and now Life is Beautiful. Collision with Destiny.  Jerielle - Thank you so much for sharing your story! We appreciate your words of encouragement!  For HIS Glory Only, XOXO  Danielle

I understand, in my own way, why David said “if it had not been for the Lord on my side…” So many have been through much struggle whether it be physical, financial, or academic. Those hurdles all require a certain amount of will power and dedication from within to stand. Some are easier to overcome then others. I think one of the biggest fights is the one from within. It was for me at least. I am born the first born of a renowned family. They were first generation preachers called and dedicated to ministry from the day they accepted the call.

I used to be pushed away from the circle in youth functions because I was the pastor’s daughter. At times conversations would cease when I came around and I would feel so left out and rejected. I didn’t understand my parents call and mantle at the time, but I do remember feeling alone whenever they went away. I was afraid to share my social setbacks with them because it would hurt them and make want to pull me out of youth activities in effort to protect me. So I never told them. I started to find myself and started bullying boys, I secretly liked them but didn’t know how to express it. That turned into fights and disrespecting teachers. One way or another someone in administration favored me and did not report me. Even in my mess, favor followed me.

I remember in middle school I had my first real crush.

Let me say this, there are mental and emotional collisions that happen in a young girl or a young man’s life that may be just as fatal as a head on collision between to vehicles. Their minds are shattered, hearts torn to pieces, emotionally scared. As I mentioned before, ‘even in my mess, favor followed me’, the word of God says that “the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:17-20. Even when we may be in our darkest place in our minds, God is still near waiting for the moment you realize he never left.

So, my first crush was in middle school. I was so into him and he didn’t know it. I was too afraid to share it and allowed myself to fall into satisfying my desires by imagining what we would be like together. That led right down the wrong path. I began writing explicit poetry and had never read nor watched a second of sexual content. The devil found that emptiness, the hurt, the fear of rejection and silent cry for affection and gnawed at it. He began dating a good friend of mine after I told her how I felt about him. I had even asked her for advice on how to tell him. She betrayed me. We never got together because he abruptly moved back to his island country of Jamaica. I was heartbroken and devastated because though he never knew how I felt, he was my best and only friend. I was emotionally attached to him, now emotionally shattered. Those thoughts of worthlessness and low self-esteem began to lurk into my soul and I began to believe them. I started to believe that I wasn’t pretty enough and not smart enough. I had begun to believe that if I wanted to be with someone, I had to agree to be the side girl. I would never be #1.

I graduated high school and fell for my new crush. He was everything I thought I wanted. Boy was I wrong. Once again I fell for a boy, this time, he in a relationship. The enemy entertained my deep cries for affection and for someone to just touch my soul. Listen, during all this, I was active in my church functions. I had been serving in worship team and working in youth functions. But I must say that I had not yet met with the true and life changing love of God. Not everyone that seems like they have it all together really do. This is where we can miss the mark and never hear the cries behind the bars of teeth of a fake smile.

I must say that my family was always loving and supportive. They did all they could and beyond to show us all (my three siblings and I) as much love and acceptance. It was the emptiness from so long ago that had dug a hole deep in my soul. Caused by social rejection and name calling and struggling with my weight and so many other factors. They had all served as the perfect target for the enemy to try and destroy my future.

This young man and I began dating, and yes, I was the side chick. He touched my insecurities and told me all the right things. He said all the things I wished a man would whisper in my ears from the first sensual poem I had written way back in middle school. I was convinced he was the one. Not only did he touch my soul, but we began to grow intimate. How devastated I was to have fallen so deep, but I was in too far I couldn’t muster up the strength to get out. I was bound and had no idea how to get out of it. The more we saw each other the more my heart and soul was chipped away. He had me. He owned me. I was his and I was bound.

That’s where the enemy tries to capture us. He accelerates us into self-destruction by creating as many opportunities that can tear us down. Notice I said “tries”. The devil tried to imprison my thoughts and forced me to fall into depression and self-condemnation. But God stepped in! My parents sensed the pain and the spiritual warfare and jumped right in to defend me. I will never forget that in a Sunday morning service they stopped church as usual and called a 911 prayer session. They wrapped me up in a white sheet and my mother and father laid over me and prayed me through! The elders and pastors all prayed. It was so powerful and that was my hour of deliverance. About three years of fasting and prayer and building my character and faith in God, I was released and was called out to different preaching engagements. My sound was ready to be heard. I had collided with my destiny that day. I found my identity in God. I was free! No long bound.

God will place people in your life to rescue you from you. Some of our biggest struggles are in our minds. The enemy tries to attack where we are most vulnerable because he knows that that is where my emotions and intellect and will power lies. He makes sure he plants the idea that even our loved ones will never understand and so we pull away. But, if we trust in the Lord we won’t faint. God will help us at break of day (Psalm 91).

I want to encourage a young lady who has had an emotional wreck. You are about to have a collision with your destiny. If you are reading this testimony, you are at the right place at the right time.  I collided with my purpose that Sunday morning wrapped in a sheet. I found love and saw the very face of God. He told me he loved md and his love was far beyond the touch of any man. God’s love touches deeper than the soul, it is eternal! I say just as Paul said, I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love! (Rom. 8:35-39) I share that same love with you and hope that you too will collide with his love, collide with is grace.  When you least expect it, when you have lost control of this vehicle called life - God is right there ready to smash all those pieces back together. You are not lost, as a matter of fact God has been right there with you all along. Trust him to reach out to you right on time!

He did it for me, he will surely do it for you. I found Jesus and now Life is Beautiful. Collision with Destiny.

Jerielle - Thank you so much for sharing your story! We appreciate your words of encouragement!

For HIS Glory Only,
XOXO

Danielle