No Stagnation: Professional Growth

For this edition we will be discussing fighting stagnation in your professional life.

Remember the definition of being stagnant is having stopped, as by ceasing to run or flow; failure to develop, progress, or advance. The state or quality of being or feeling sluggish and/or dull.

Just to give a brief background of my professional experience – I am a Human Resources Manager and have been in the Human Resources field for over 8 years. I’ve held positions ranging from Administrative Assistant, Generalist, and Supervisor. I also have my Masters of Science in Human Resources Management.

Feeling stagnant in your career can be very difficult. There are different reasons one can feel stagnant. In my experience I have found that individuals feel stagnant professionally because of the following reasons:

• Bored at work/Not challenged
• Lack in skill set and unsure of next steps (no development)
• No opportunities of growth within the company and/or the career field as a whole
• Overloaded with work (burned out)
• Not learning anything new/no growth
• No raise in salary, benefits and compensation
• Poor or difficult work environment

Tips
As I have mentored and assisted individuals during their career development, there have been some common themes with my advice.  I wanted to share a few in this post.

Set Goals: No one knows what you want besides you. Take a break, pray, sit down and write out your goals and visions for your career. What do you want to ultimately achieve? When you have that written down, decide on an action plan that will get you there. Be S.M.A.R.T. with your goals means the goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound.

Build your personal brand: Even if you are not a small business owner, you have a personal brand. What is everyone saying about you? Are the saying that you are always late, miss too many deadlines, rude etc This can keep you from progressing in your career. Focus on making your personal brand stand out. Put your best foot forward, ask questions, seek for understanding, ask to be on projects and make yourself available.

Get a mentor: I am personally a big advocate for mentorship both within and outside of the company you work for. Mentors look at things differently than you. They are able to speak to what is going on within the industry and not only your specific department. Mentors also help you to stay accountable and furthering your development.

Get a sponsor: Some may think mentor and sponsor are the same. Although it can be the same individual, the sponsor takes things as step further. A sponsor is someone who advocates for you. That means when projects and high profile positions are opening up they are advocating that you take part. The sponsor is someone who is reputable and seen in a positive light, and are vested in seeing you move up.

Get certified: In each industry or company, there are certain certifications that are either required or preferred. Even if you are in an entry level position, seek to get certified or become the expert in a specific area. If you are seen as the expert, the company and industry will find value in you. Also, this opens the door for you to look for other positions that will challenge you.

Resume building: When was the last time you reviewed your resume? Make it a point that you revisit your resume every year to add additional skills and talents onto your resume. If you have taken a course within your company or have played an important role in a project or initiative, place that on your resume. Also, before applying for a job look at the job description and ensure that you resume shows you are qualified for the position.

Education: This one may be difficult because of the cost component, however, in some industries specific degrees is a must. There are companies out there who offer tuition reimbursement. If possible, further your education. It allows you to stand out from your peers, those within your career and other applicants.

I will leave you with this: If you are currently in a situation where you dread going to work and it is negatively affecting your health … it is time to re-evaluate your situation. Stress can kill (it also makes you gain weight … just speaking from experience). We all need to make a living but don’t let it be at the cost of your health.

Until next time, stay professional!
 

For His Glory Only,
XOXO
Danielle J.

Wifey Wednesday: Humility

Humility is such an easy word to comprehend, but is difficult (at times) to put into practice. If you are not ready to die to your flesh daily, be able to admit wrongs doings and let go of bad habits … you may not be ready for marriage.

Humility is defined as modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness. From a Biblical perspective, Romans 12:3 states “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you”.  

After reading this verse and being married – I interpret it as being in a place where I am teachable. This means accepting that I am not always right, my way is not the “only” way, and being able to hear my spouse and learn. That’s a hard pill to swallow for us control freak [cries in hands lol]. The amazing thing is with God all things are possible. Isn’t that amazing!!

My prayer is that God will grant us humility. Time for some tough love – May God bring our pride into the light where we see how ugly, self-centered and childish we can be.  May He show us our pride, and help us to let go of it when it grabs hold of us. Give us the strength to replace self-centered desire with love. Humble enough to admit our mistakes to our spouse and also to God.  May we grow in obedience to His Word.

Remember Scripture states God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble (James 4:6) Let us be in a place where God favors us.

To my followers who are single - I want to encourage you to be humble in every aspect, even in singlehood. Practice humility with your parents, peers, friends, family and coworkers. Before God blesses you, He wants to see that you are able to handle where you are now.

To my followers who are married – I want to encourage you to take the high road ALWAYS. If you are struggling in this area – take baby steps. Work on your communication skills and learn to seek to understand … not to always to be understood.

Until next time, stay humble!

For His Glory Only,
XOXO
Danielle J.

Share Your Story: Lashea

My financial struggle began when I was fourteen years old and received news that would change my life forever. 6 days before Christmas, my mother died to hospital negligence, leaving my father a single parent of four daughters. We were awarded a very large amount of settlement money; it was all gone in less than 24 months. We were back to square one-living below poverty and on public assistance.

I wanted a fresh start and enrolled into Florida A&M University the Fall of 2002. At the end of my freshmen year, I became a single mother and eventually homeless, sleeping on couches of my collegiate friends. In the midst of struggling to raise my daughter, I was also tasked with raising my younger sister too, due to my father’s admittance into hospice.I took out student loans for funeral expenses just in case he passed away.He died the next year.

I was a college student deep in sorrow, debt and struggling to provide a decent life for me, my daughter, and my younger sister. In May 2005, I received a job offer with Hancock Bank as a Teller. It was at that moment that I was just starting to pick up on banking terminology that I had a groundbreaking conversation with my then boss, Joel. I told him about my desire to buy a house and he was like, “Well, what’s stopping you?”. In that moment I realized that the only limits in life are the ones we place on ourselves. I decided to stop limiting myself to debt and an impoverished mindset, and to open up myself to learning about how to manage my personal finances to create a life I actually wanted to live.

I graduated Cum Laude in the Spring of 2007 with a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Management and purchased my first home as a graduation gift. After working 3 jobs in college, for the first time in my life, I was no longer a recipient of public assistance. I advanced my career in financial services as an Assistant Vice President and later managed relationships with Investment Advisors with assets over 1.8 Billion working at Charles Schwab.

I was not brought up in a religious household where we consistently went to or belonged to a church. During my difficult time, I did not know God, but I am glad God knew me.It wasn’t until the turning point of my circumstances that I realized a higher spiritual figure had to be involved and I started to attend church. In 2006, I was baptized and purchased my first devotional bible to become more acquainted with GOD. The first verse I encountered was Jeremiah 29:11 as it described my life and made it beautiful.
 

Life is Beautiful because of the free will we have as human beings. We are living in a place and time where your given circumstances do not outweigh your potential or possibility. What makes life beautiful, is even if you think life isn’t beautiful, you can change it.

My advice to others is to have some serious conversations with yourself, understand your weakness, but embrace your strength. Nothing in life will be accomplished without a written consistent plan. After you’ve created that plan, share it with trusted advisors that can hold you accountable.

Lashea – Thank you for sharing your story and being so transparent. Your story of overcoming and commitment is so inspiring.

In the signature of her email it says “"If you want the rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain." She has put up with much rain and adversity, but is now enjoying the rainbow. Shea has an amazing organization called 8 Cents in a Jar. This organization is in place to establish awareness surrounding finance. Please support by visiting the website and also head over and like the Facebook page.

For His Glory Only,

XOXO

Danielle J.

No Stagnation: Spiritual Life

For this edition we will be discussing stagnation in our spiritual lives.

Remember the definition: Being stagnant means having stopped, as by ceasing to run or flow; failure to develop, progress, or advance. The state or quality of being or feeling sluggish and/or dull.

Whether you are a new Christian or have been Christian for a long time – you may have experienced being stagnant in your relationship with Christ. Many of you have been there, or are currently there at this very moment. Think about the first time you accepted Christ as your personal Savior. You were on fire, praying every day, reading your Bible every day, attending church service after church service etc Then LIFE happened. It may have come in the form of an obstacle, unanswered prayer, new job promotion, getting married, having a child/children, school or even work. So many things can get in our way and keep us from having a vibrant relationship with Christ.

Zephaniah 1:12-13 states: “It will come about at that time that I will search Jerusalem with lamps, and I will punish the men who are stagnant in spirit, who say in their hearts, ‘The Lord will not do good or evil!’ Moreover, their wealth will become plunder and their houses desolate; yes, they will build houses but not inhabit them, and plant vineyards but not drink their wine’”. This verse is a prophecy against those who were “stagnant in spirit,” or “settled in complacency”. Not going to lie … That verse is scary!

Let’s discuss some ways to get out of the rut and remain consistent in our spiritual lives.

1 – Make time: You know the phrase “you make time for what is important to you”? Your spiritual life should be a priority. Do not make excuses that you are too busy. We often make a schedule and God is NO WHERE in the picture. I personally feel early morning is the best time (or whenever you wake up). Start your day with Him, in His presence. I know many of you have hectic “schedules” … schedule your time with him. You wouldn’t miss certain appointments, don’t miss the appointment with Him.

2 – Accountability: Get an accountability partner or a group that can hold you accountable. As I sit with many people I realize this is a definite lack in the body of Christ. We are scared to hold each other accountable. Get someone or a group of people that will check in on you (and sometimes check you) and keep you on track spiritually. We do it for working out … why would it be any different?

3 - Challenge Yourself: As you walk with Christ, there needs to be growth. If your understanding of the Bible is the same as last year … that is a problem! Scripture speaks about being lukewarm … He will spit you out (Revelation 3:16). Join our Bible Challenge (shameless plug), set a goal to read a book within the Bible. Do SOMETHING that is challenge and not in your ordinary “routine”.

4 - Go To Church: Listen, not only go to church but pay attention! Get off your phone!! Church is a place of fellowship and is vital in spiritual growth. Something amazing happens when you are surrounded by like-minded individuals [Acts 2:42-47].

5 - Get involved: Not only go to church, but get involved. When you are involved in something you remain committed. You see the bigger picture and it also helps keeps you accountable.

6- Fast & Pray: If you are struggling spiritually, set aside some time to fast (no food) and pray. This is one of the most vital keys to growing spiritually. It is important that you are in communication with God or you will continue to feel a void. Scripture even talks about removing demons by praying and fasting [Mark 9:29, Mathew 17:21]. Powerful!

7 – Serve: Serving others assists in spiritual growth because it takes your eyes off your personal obstacles and allows you to see the bigger picture. There are so many who are hurting, lost and need our assistance. This means we need to be spiritual fit!

8- Mediate on Scripture: Do you eat every day? Same concept! We need to be fed spiritually every day through the word of God. Open up your Bible, use your Bible app etc Read the word daily!!

9 - Nature/Change scenery: Sometimes you may need a change of scenery. While you are reading the word – go to the park, sit by a lake or even pray in a separate room. You need a place where you will not be distracted.

10 – Teach others: One of the best ways to remain consistent and applying all you have learned is teaching someone else. That may look different for many of you. Some it may be teaching those in your household, others it may be friends or peers. Just be open to teach and help others.

This week I challenge you to do the following:

-  Write out your spiritual goals
- Pray over your goals
- Set time aside to make a plan on how you will achieve these goals
- Look over the topics within the blog – Try at least ONE!
- Let us know how you are doing by either emailing in or commenting on this post

Until next time … remember NO STAGNATION! Next Friday we will discuss professional growth.

For His glory only!
XOXO
Danielle J.

Wifey Wednesday: 5 Love Languages

I’ll wanted to let you in on a little secret. There is something that prepared me for my marriage [outside of prayer, support, marriage counseling… and PRAYER lol].  It is a book and assessment from Gary Chapman’s entitled 5 Love Languages.
 

I read the book a number of years ago during my single years due to so many great reviews on both the book and application of the assessment. When my husband and I began courting, we decided to take the assessment. If you are not familiar with the “5 Love Languages” – there are five categories that speak to how you feel loved. They are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality of Time and Physical Touch.

I encourage you to read the book to gain a deeper understanding of each concept, however, I’ll provide a quick summary.

Words of Affirmation
This language uses words to affirm other people.

Acts of Service
For these people, actions speak louder than words.

Receiving Gifts
For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift.

Quality of Time
This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention.
 

Physical Touch
To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch.
 

My husband’s love language is Physical Touch (with Words of Affirmation being a VERY close second). My love language is Quality of Time and Words of Affirmation.  Let me tell you …. knowing my husband’s love language really helped me to understand what I needed to do to keep him happy. I am no longer the one that hugs a lot (old me) but I had to learn that is what he enjoys. Therefore I make it a point to show him that level of affection because it is important to him. Marriage is all about sacrifice and understanding your mate.
 

The other thing I love about the “5 Love Languages” concept is that it can be applied in other ways such as friendships. If you value your friends you do your best to be there to support, encourage and understand them. This assessment shows how a person feels loved and appreciated by others.

The free quiz can be taken here or here. Online tools can be found on the official website.

To my followers who are single – Take a look into the “5 Love Languages” book and assessment even during this season. You will be able to apply it to your friendships and ultimately your future mate. It is very insightful and a good step in not only knowing yourself, but others.

To my followers who are married - Take a look into the “5 Love Languages” book and assessment. You will be able to apply it to your marriage and even friendships. I encourage you to make an attempt to get to know you mate in a different way. Make the adjustments needed to assist in the longevity of your marriage.

Learn to love in a way that brings happiness to others!

For His glory only,
XOXO
Danielle J.

Fearless Living

#MotivationalMonday This is the last week of our June Bible Reading Challenge and we are no longer walking in fear. With God on our side, we are already know the outcome. You are free from your past and the things that held you back. You are free from any fear that has kept you from achieving your goals, walking in your purpose on purpose and/or the calling on your life. Since you are fearless, you are powerful and a force to be reckoned with.

Psalm 23:4 states "Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me". No matter what you face this week, remember God is on your side. Keep your eyes fixed on the end goal. You will make it through. Be blessed!

Wifey Wednesday: Breaking Bad Habits

Listen - we all have bad habits! It is okay! Whether it is leaving dirty clothes on the floor, not eating right, not cleaning the dishes "on time", or leaving the toilet seat up [gentleman lol]. The beautiful thing about being married is the joys of living together. You are getting to know each other and the different "habits" you have formed over the years. Some are good [keep those] and some are bad [try to modify as best you can lol]. There is a stark difference between characteristics and habits. Habits, to a degree, can be changed/modified.

Please remember that we are more than flesh and blood, our bodies are temples of the Holy Ghost. There is a constant struggle between flesh and spirit, wrong and right on a daily basis.  We are stewards of a body created in God's image and made by His great design.You have been bought with a price, ordained to bring honor and glory to Christ. We should be loving our bodies because of His grace, but too often we misuse, abuse, and neglect it. We know what to do, but we don’t always do it. We know what habits we want to break, but we don’t always break them. We struggle against the flesh, desperately wanting to follow the Spirit, but we need His strength to carry us through. The question is are we being good stewards with everything he has given us.

We need to ask God to remove any temptation or obstacles in our marriage, and any habits that could cause a rift. We need His help to break free of bad habits, and incorporate new ones that are good for the body, the mind, and the spirit. We need help to get off of the couch when we are feeling lazy, dig into the Word when we should, and to live lives that are pleasing to Him.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 states: Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies!

Honoring God with your body is essential honoring God with your life. He has given you this life as a gift. Furthermore, He has given you the opportunity to be joined in this journey with someone else. Do not let the patterns of this world deter you from being the best wife possible.

As I was reading to prepare for this blog post, I read an article entitled "8 Bad Marriage Habits You Need to Break Right Now" by Dr. David b. Hawkins . The list is as follows:

• Interrupting your mate
• Talking over your mate
• Shaming your mate
• Rolling your eyes dismissively
• Being accusatory of your mate
• Stonewalling your mate
• Acting disinterested
• Refusing to take responsibility for bad behavior

As stated in the article, if these behaviors are done on a rare occasion it will not have a severe effect. It is when this becomes a habit that this can be detrimental.

You can find the link to the full article here.
 

How do you change bad habits? PRAYER! I know this is a cliché statement but we need to put it into practice. You cannot change without the strength from God. Prayer not only changes things, it can change people. There are so many habits we have formed over the years, don’t let that one bad habit be the demise of your relationship.

Besides prayer there are also some other useful tools you can put into practice. Here is a link to an article that gives some practical steps to breaking bad habits. It is entitled “7 Steps to Changing a Bad Habit”.

To my followers who are single - start to create habits that will glorify God and in the long run be an asset to your marriage.

To my followers who are married - although you are married, DO NOT BE COMPLACENT! As you are learning each other be open to discuss the things that are bothersome in a respectful manner. Your partner will be willing to hear you if it is done in a loving way.

For His glory only,

XOXO

Danielle J.

#WifeyWednesday: Requirements

This post is primarily for my single readers this #WifeyWednesday edition, however, I encourage anyone to read the below post.

I recall my first semester in college taking some prerequisites before being able to take classes within my major. A prerequisite is a thing that is required as a prior condition for something else to happen or exist.

The thing that I find interesting is that sometimes we don't have prerequisites for the people we allow in our lives, especially our potential mates. Prerequisites in the relationship realm are the "non-negotiable" items that someone needs before you actually date them.

The #1 non-negotiable thing our list should be that the individual has a relationship with Christ. I often hear "Oh yeah, they go to church". Listen, going to church doesn't make you a Christian. Just like standing in a garage won't make you a car. Don't date a "church-goer" but date someone who is truly a Christ follower. You need someone who has an actual relationship with Christ, a connection and the fear of God. I remember my great-aunt used to joke around with me and say "Danie, all men can have bad tendencies but at least a Christian man has the fear of God". My mom used to repeat the same thing once my great-aunt passed away.

What are your requirements? We often focus on the outer appearance and forget about the inner appearance. 2 Corinthians 4:16 says: Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. Listen, 10-15-30 years from now you will not look the same physically. You definitely don't want to marry someone based on their looks and they have no substance.

First, I challenge you BEFORE getting into a serious relationship - LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF! You cannot love anyone else until you have properly learned to love yourself. That may entail counseling to deal with deep rooted issues, praying, fasting etc Secondly, I challenge you to go into prayer and put your desires before God. He is the author of your life & love story. Tell Him your desires (even though He knows) and ask Him to help you discern what is good for you. Your list of requirements should be in line with the word of God.

I loved this little video I found on Facebook which depicts some of the requirements one can have. Some are playful, but others are very telling of the root things that may be important to you. You can watch the video here.

Again, please save yourself the heartache and stop dating around and entertaining those you see no future with. Set some requirements and prerequisites up for your future mate!

For His glory only,
XOXO
Danielle