The Prodigal's Daughter

Where to start... To think where I was almost four years ago and compare it to where I am now is a serious blessing. When people look at me now they see a woman that is strong, sweet, God fearing, and seems to have it all together. What they don't see is the filth, pain, and shame that once consumed me. Another thing they don't see is the daily battle that I fight to keep the enemy from consuming me with my past and negative thoughts. A little background about me is I'm 25. I will be 26 this year God willing. I'm married and have been for almost five years. I have a son named Logan who is seriously a gift from God. I also recently started my own health and wellness business which is great, because I love to help women. Now that you know a little about my present, let me tell you about my past.

About four years ago I was in such a dark place. I really felt empty and like I was lacking something. Since I felt this way I came down so hard on my husband. I felt like he wasn't enough and he wasn't doing enough. I wanted him to be perfect so bad and fix everything I had on going inside, but was totally clueless that the Lord was tugging on my heart. Instead of responding to the Lord's tug I went in the opposite direction of him and what he wanted and decided to start talking to a man that was not my husband. How silly of me right?! That's what happens when you don't have God as the head of your life. You make stupid decisions that lead to serious consequences. Choosing to talk to another man led to the breaking of my husband's heart and our family.

Once we separated I sunk into depression and felt more alone than ever. I remember being up crying at 12:30am and not having anyone to call. It had been so long since I really prayed. I had no idea where I should start or if the Lord even wanted to hear what I had to say. I thank God that I had a friend who told me there's no special way to pray. The Lord just needs me to come to him. She gave me the idea to lay down on the floor and pray. She told me once I get up I should leave all my burdens and all my pain down on the floor, sending them right back to hell where they came from. I soon began to journal after that about how I felt about everything. It was in those quiet moments before the Lord when I had no one else, that he saved me and showed me that he can be everything that I need. He showed me that he can take all of my mess and turn it into my testimony to glorify him. I learned the real meaning of Jesus' death and how I've been made new because of his blood. The scripture I memorized to remind me of this is 2 Cor 5:17, "anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun".

Although my husband and I are still separated I can tell you that I have never been so complete! The Lord has given me so much joy and peace. He has loved me out of such a dark place and he continues to keep me and I am so undeserving. The Lord has taught me so much about himself, being a child of his, being a wife, and being a mom. I now take marriage so serious and look forward to the day that he restores my marriage.

Life is beautiful because Jesus died for me. Through the blood of Jesus I have been forgiven and can do all things! Life is beautiful means that although I may face deep waters, the Lord promises to be right there with me. Isaiah 43:2

My message to all wives out there is to keep God first and don't give up on your marriage. Don't look for satisfaction anywhere else. If you feel that you or your husband is lacking anything take it before the Lord. If you're struggling in your marriage be intentional about praying because it does work! For the ladies that aren't married, don't rush it. Make sure you have a strong, complete relationship with the Lord and make sure you're complete in yourself. These things are a must if you want to have a marriage that glorifies the Lord. To everyone know that the Lord is good. He loves us all so much. Don't be afraid to allow him to step in and take control of your life. It will be the best decision you've ever made. Surrender to the Lord and watch what he can do for you. 

Mya - Thank you for sharing your story and being so transparent. As sisters in Christ we will be keeping you in prayer. God is a God of restoration and He is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than we can image.

Ladies, let's stand in the gap for Mya! Keep her uplifted in prayer. That is our job as believers. Also, please support her blog. You can find it here.

For HIS glory only…..
May God richly bless you!
XOXO
Danielle

Identity Crisis? Learning Who You Are In Christ

The thing that I love about God is that He always confirms and re-confirms His Word. I was amazed to see that Heather Lindsey made a video on "Identity" last week after I made my video. I always feel when God is sending the same message through different avenues - it is the Holy Spirit doing the work of dropping it into our spirits. Take a look at this video!

The caption of the video says it best:

Struggling with people bondage or being firm in who God called you to be? Check out this short video on learning who you are in Christ.

Identity Crisis: Overcoming Negativity by Grace

As you get to know me through reading each entry on my blog, I want to hit on different areas of my life that have brought me pain and be transparent.

 

My latest YouTube video entitled “Identity Crisis” showcases some of the name calling I have endured both in my face and behind my back. There were words such as: “holier than thou”, fat, spoiled, silver spoon, fake, self-righteous, ugly, strange and overly sensitive. This type of name calling did not only occur in my adolescent years, but also into adulthood. It hasn’t been only been name calling. As a youth minister I have had people walk out on my sermons, negativity spoken over my ministry and it has been said that although I am worrying about others souls I need to pay attention to my own. I have even walked into rooms and been laughed at. Now, these words or actions may not seem that bad, but when it comes from individuals you were once close to, it being said in front of you or behind your back on a consistent basis can have a detrimental effect.

Like makeup – for a very long time I covered everything up. The scars of those words and the emotional affect it had on me was always dealt internally. One of the things that I still struggle with is dealing with things internally, and I do not quickly open up to others.  I have gone through many tests and trials, things that would cause me to stop walking in my purpose, but I have made a decision to keep moving forward. You have to realize you were not designed to fail, but to only succeed with the help of Jesus Christ.
 

Steps to Overcoming

- Prayer – It is SO important to remain steadfast in prayer. Pray that you do not change the way you are for other people, pray you do not grow to hate and pray for your enemies.

- Scripture Reading – Combat negativity with Scripture. If something is said against you, quote a Scripture against it. Let what God says about you ring louder than what others have to say. Speak Life! Scriptures that have helped me:  1 Peter 5:7, Isaiah 41:10, Psalm 37:1-6 & 11, 1 Peter 3:9, John 15:18, Deuteronomy 28:13, Matthew 5:10-12 & 44 (There are so many more I would have to do another post)

- Core Support System – Have a core group of people that you can go to that will uplift you and encourage you.

- Encourage others – Sometimes we focus on what we are going through and forget about others.
The purpose of being a believer is to assist others. It is so much greater than us.

Since my younger years I have kept this quote near my heart– “I will not permit any man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him” – Booker T. Washington. (I still think it is on my Facebook page since college lol). I have learned to build others up, because I know what it is like to be torn down. No matter who has put you down – your parents, siblings, extended family members, teachers or friends … you are an OVERCOMER! Whatever has been spoken against you, speak against it with it with the word of God. The beauty in going through things and overcoming, is understanding the purpose at the end. I have found determination in detriment, resilience in the midst of rejection, and most importantly purpose in my pain. I want to encourage anyone who is facing what I have faced to let you them know that “THIS TOO SHALL PASS”. You have more people standing with you, then against you. Be blessed!

For HIS glory only!
XOXO
Danielle

P.S. If you haven't checked out the video yet - Check it out here!

Identity Crisis: Overcoming

Uploaded by La Belle Vie Essentials on 2016-03-14.

http://youtu.be/R9nlSB-IXcE

Stay In Your Lane

My commute from home to work consists of heavy construction in certain areas. There is a major project to repave many roads in my area. One morning as I was driving, I realized that my lane was a bit higher than the others, and I realized they had completed that portion of the road already. As I was driving, I saw the first sign that said “Uneven Lanes” and then a second sign that stated “Stay in Your Lane”. We often use the phrase “stay in your lane” to reproach others to either mind their own business or focus on their own personal issues, but I immediately thought of something else. The thought came into my mind of how in life, we do not like to stay in our lane. We want to skip through the process and want to switch lanes believing that we will reach our destination faster. Sometimes we do not even see that our lane is already paved and sitting higher. God is calling us to higher but it is going to take us surrendering our own road map, and giving way to His direction.

Proverbs 16:9 states “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.” We may see the road that lies ahead of us and may know the destination, but we do not know the turns God has mapped out for us. I am NOT saying do not have plans or goals. What I am saying is, be open to yielding your plans to God’s will. At times it may be difficult to stay in your lane. You will see cars (people) passing you by quickly and seemingly reaching the destination before you. You may even feel like you are stuck in “traffic” and nothing is moving in your direction. If you stay in your lane, you will reach your destination safely and in God’s appointed time. What is better than that?

You’re blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed and outlined by God. You’re blessed when you follow His directions, doing your best to find Him. Please do not go off on your own, instead walk straight along the road He set for you. God has prescribed the right way to live through His word. You will never have any regrets and will not need to compare your life with others. You will be in the exact position God ordained for you. We need to  learn and understand the pattern of His righteous ways and we will not deviate and get out of our lane.

For HIS glory only…..
May God richly bless you!
XOXO
Danielle

Share Your Story: Jeriele

I understand, in my own way, why David said “if it had not been for the Lord on my side…” So many have been through much struggle whether it be physical, financial, or academic. Those hurdles all require a certain amount of will power and dedication from within to stand. Some are easier to overcome then others. I think one of the biggest fights is the one from within. It was for me at least. I am born the first born of a renowned family. They were first generation preachers called and dedicated to ministry from the day they accepted the call.

I used to be pushed away from the circle in youth functions because I was the pastor’s daughter. At times conversations would cease when I came around and I would feel so left out and rejected. I didn’t understand my parents call and mantle at the time, but I do remember feeling alone whenever they went away. I was afraid to share my social setbacks with them because it would hurt them and make want to pull me out of youth activities in effort to protect me. So I never told them. I started to find myself and started bullying boys, I secretly liked them but didn’t know how to express it. That turned into fights and disrespecting teachers. One way or another someone in administration favored me and did not report me. Even in my mess, favor followed me.

I remember in middle school I had my first real crush.

Let me say this, there are mental and emotional collisions that happen in a young girl or a young man’s life that may be just as fatal as a head on collision between to vehicles. Their minds are shattered, hearts torn to pieces, emotionally scared. As I mentioned before, ‘even in my mess, favor followed me’, the word of God says that “the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:17-20. Even when we may be in our darkest place in our minds, God is still near waiting for the moment you realize he never left.

So, my first crush was in middle school. I was so into him and he didn’t know it. I was too afraid to share it and allowed myself to fall into satisfying my desires by imagining what we would be like together. That led right down the wrong path. I began writing explicit poetry and had never read nor watched a second of sexual content. The devil found that emptiness, the hurt, the fear of rejection and silent cry for affection and gnawed at it. He began dating a good friend of mine after I told her how I felt about him. I had even asked her for advice on how to tell him. She betrayed me. We never got together because he abruptly moved back to his island country of Jamaica. I was heartbroken and devastated because though he never knew how I felt, he was my best and only friend. I was emotionally attached to him, now emotionally shattered. Those thoughts of worthlessness and low self-esteem began to lurk into my soul and I began to believe them. I started to believe that I wasn’t pretty enough and not smart enough. I had begun to believe that if I wanted to be with someone, I had to agree to be the side girl. I would never be #1.

I graduated high school and fell for my new crush. He was everything I thought I wanted. Boy was I wrong. Once again I fell for a boy, this time, he in a relationship. The enemy entertained my deep cries for affection and for someone to just touch my soul. Listen, during all this, I was active in my church functions. I had been serving in worship team and working in youth functions. But I must say that I had not yet met with the true and life changing love of God. Not everyone that seems like they have it all together really do. This is where we can miss the mark and never hear the cries behind the bars of teeth of a fake smile.

I must say that my family was always loving and supportive. They did all they could and beyond to show us all (my three siblings and I) as much love and acceptance. It was the emptiness from so long ago that had dug a hole deep in my soul. Caused by social rejection and name calling and struggling with my weight and so many other factors. They had all served as the perfect target for the enemy to try and destroy my future.

This young man and I began dating, and yes, I was the side chick. He touched my insecurities and told me all the right things. He said all the things I wished a man would whisper in my ears from the first sensual poem I had written way back in middle school. I was convinced he was the one. Not only did he touch my soul, but we began to grow intimate. How devastated I was to have fallen so deep, but I was in too far I couldn’t muster up the strength to get out. I was bound and had no idea how to get out of it. The more we saw each other the more my heart and soul was chipped away. He had me. He owned me. I was his and I was bound.

That’s where the enemy tries to capture us. He accelerates us into self-destruction by creating as many opportunities that can tear us down. Notice I said “tries”. The devil tried to imprison my thoughts and forced me to fall into depression and self-condemnation. But God stepped in! My parents sensed the pain and the spiritual warfare and jumped right in to defend me. I will never forget that in a Sunday morning service they stopped church as usual and called a 911 prayer session. They wrapped me up in a white sheet and my mother and father laid over me and prayed me through! The elders and pastors all prayed. It was so powerful and that was my hour of deliverance. About three years of fasting and prayer and building my character and faith in God, I was released and was called out to different preaching engagements. My sound was ready to be heard. I had collided with my destiny that day. I found my identity in God. I was free! No long bound.

God will place people in your life to rescue you from you. Some of our biggest struggles are in our minds. The enemy tries to attack where we are most vulnerable because he knows that that is where my emotions and intellect and will power lies. He makes sure he plants the idea that even our loved ones will never understand and so we pull away. But, if we trust in the Lord we won’t faint. God will help us at break of day (Psalm 91).

I want to encourage a young lady who has had an emotional wreck. You are about to have a collision with your destiny. If you are reading this testimony, you are at the right place at the right time.  I collided with my purpose that Sunday morning wrapped in a sheet. I found love and saw the very face of God. He told me he loved md and his love was far beyond the touch of any man. God’s love touches deeper than the soul, it is eternal! I say just as Paul said, I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love! (Rom. 8:35-39) I share that same love with you and hope that you too will collide with his love, collide with is grace.  When you least expect it, when you have lost control of this vehicle called life - God is right there ready to smash all those pieces back together. You are not lost, as a matter of fact God has been right there with you all along. Trust him to reach out to you right on time!

He did it for me, he will surely do it for you. I found Jesus and now Life is Beautiful. Collision with Destiny.

Jerielle - Thank you so much for sharing your story! We appreciate your words of encouragement!

For HIS Glory Only,
XOXO

Danielle

Share Your Story: Monisha

I remember night all too well; I was leaving a John P Kee concert and the weather was horrible. After I hang up the phone from being asked to resign, I purposely hit every water puddle at full speed hoping that that my car would hydroplane. I cannot count on my hands how many times I thought about ending my own life. You would be amazed at how much having your mugshot all over the news will cause one to doubt their abilities and question their purpose here on earth. Too have everything you worked hard for taken away from you because of a mistake you made over 6 years ago.

Back in 2009, at the age of 20, I was working at a hardware store. I allowed my friends to come through for the “hook-up”, “the five-finger discount” (you get the point). I was caught and later changed with petty theft (misdemeanor) and was ordered to pay restitution. Here’s the blessing; I was supposed to be charged with grand theft (a felony) and could have been sentenced to a minimum of 5 years….BUT GOD! (PRAISE BREAK) I had allowed them to walk out of that store with way over $500 worth of merchandise. Crazy, right? I cannot begin to tell you what those items were, but that’s neither here nor there. Anyway, that’s the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. First time in trouble, outside of that one time when I was sent to the Principal’s office. I was your Student Government member, Freshmen Princess, band auxiliary, Homecoming court girl. What was I thinking?

Since then, I spent 5 years working for a local elected official serving as Legislative Intern. I was later promoted to Administrative Aide. I have also have the pleasure to serve as a Staff Assistant at a local state college. A year ago my past resurfaced, and it couldn’t have happened at a better time *insert sarcasm here*. I had just been appointed as the Aide to Orange County’s first African American Clerk of Court. How awesome is that?!?!

I prayed daily for God to keep my mind and remove all negative thoughts. I’ve learned that you don’t overcome bad thoughts by thinking good thoughts. Your words are more powerful than your thoughts. So when you’re tempted to think wrong remember to speak right. I have now made it a habit to speak positively to myself aloud. I not only speak it; I believe it. I know that no good thing will He withhold from me. Jerimiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”, has always been my favorite scripture; but, it meant more to than ever in this season in my life. I had to trust that God had greater for me.

There is no “undo” key in life. We cannot just hit “CTRL+Z” and start over again. Whether big or small, we all make mistakes that we are not proud of. We just have to try our best to move forward. Unfortunately, mine was publicized and that alone is enough to make anyone doubt themselves. Those moments should serve as motivation to become better people. So I encourage you as I encourage myself; whatever you do DO NOT give up. “Your past does not define you” is something that we hear often, and it rings true every day. We may have to work a little harder than most but the reward will be so much greater.

Someone I love dearly always says “Life’s a journey: and it takes a lifetime to figure it out”. Well you are on this journey know that God is bigger than any problem you may face; and the great thing is that He’s on your team.

Thank you Mo for sharing your story and testimony with us! PLEASE go visit her blog at www.perksofMo.com!!!

For HIS glory only....
May God richly bless you!
XOXO
Danielle

Happy New Year

HAPPY NEW YEAR on behalf of La Belle Vie Essentials and the “Dream Team 2016”. We appreciate all the love and support in 2015, and we are looking to an awesome 2016. Our prayer is that you will “walk in your purpose on purpose” and that you will have a spiritually healthy 2016. At the end of the journey, although we want to achieve our personal goals it is important to keep God first in all that we do. Proverbs 16:9 states “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.” This year allow the Lord to establish your steps. You will not be shaken and you will not be moved! Looking forward to this journey! Be blessed!

For HIS glory only…..
May God richly bless you!
XOXO
Danielle