Wifey Wednesday: Teach Us to Pray

Prayer …. MAJOR KEY! Prayer is important in every aspect of our lives, and marriage is not an exception.

I remember watching a video and it stated “Don’t let the thing you prayed for become the thing that distracts you from God”. That statement struck me! Anything you put before God is an idol. I prayed for YEARS, and even fasted at times to one day be married to a man that would love me flaws and all & that would understand my calling. I received this gift via my husband.

At times, in all honesty, I am not doing well balancing everything. It is still a work in progress. Your prayer life is something that is extremely important. Personally, once my prayer life is off track, God always has a funny way of reminding me it is time to get back on track. I have to remain in constant communication with Christ … He is the life line.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 states “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”  Pray without ceasing. That means pray about any and every thing. Cover your wife/husband, friends and family with prayer. It is important that you are constant in prayer because the enemy is at work. The devil does not want us to be happy, experience joy or even peace. We have to do our due diligence to be in prayer.

At times we may be afraid to pray because we do not know what to say. Romans 8:26 states “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans”. Even when we don’t know how to pray, the Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf. We should take comfort in that. There may be situations in your marriage you cannot pray about because you don’t know what to say – PRAY ANYWAY!!!

My prayer is that God will teach us to pray, and for us to be disciplined enough to make time for Him daily. Let’s not get so caught up in the day to day things that we forget what truly matters. We don’t always know the right things to say, but we know that He does. He knows what’s best for our marriage, and He can give us the right words.

Let’s make it a point to pray throughout the day. There are so many moments—so many ups and downs in our lives—and we need to remember to stop and give thanks to God, and to stop and ask for His help. May we be in a constant state of prayer, knowing He is always near and moving in our lives.

To my followers who are single – Learn the importance of prayer NOW! Don’t think that you will get it together when you are married. It is important that you lay a good foundation now that you are able to build on. Make time to pray for your family, friends, schooling, career and even future mate.

To my followers who are married – Ensure that your marriage is Christ-centered. Make time to pray separately, but also pray together. During your separate time be honest with God about your frustrations and challenges. In your time together always ask God to be the third strand in your cord (Ecclesiastes 4:12). There is nothing that can come against you if you are a standing together in prayer (united front).

For His Glory Only,
XOXO
Danielle J.

Gaze Straight Ahead

#VerseoftheDay I hope you have joined us during the La Belle Vie Essentials July Bible Challenge. The Scripture for today is found in Proverbs 4:20-27. My favorite verses are found in verses 23-25 which give some sound advice.

 
The key points are this:
- Guard your heart for everything flows from it
- Keep your mouth free from perversity (a deliberate desire to behave in an unreasonable or unacceptable way)

- Keep corrupt talk far from your lips
- Let your eyes look straight ahead
- Fix your gaze directly before you

If we would check ourselves and others based on the above points, we would truly be allowing God to guide us. Let your life glorify God in all that you do. Be blessed!

For His Glory Only,
XOXO

Danielle J.

Great is Thy Faithfulness

#MotivationalMonday Due to the love that Christ has for us, we are never consumed by anything that is thrown at us. He will never fail or forsake us. Today, I encourage you to focus on the faithfulness of God. He will see you through lead you on the right path. Be blessed!

For His Glory Only,
XOXO
Danielle J.

No Stagnation: Relationships

For this edition we will be discussing stagnation in our relationships.

Remember the definition: Being stagnant means having stopped, as by ceasing to run or flow; failure to develop, progress, or advance. The state or quality of being or feeling sluggish and/or dull.

Relationships are so important. For this blog post I will be focusing on relationships such as boyfriend/girlfriend, engaged couples and married couples. The next blog post I’ll touch more on friendships.

The relationship between man and woman should be a reflection of God. Many times we make it something that is very selfish and self-fulfilling and forget about God and His views. I am definitely not and expert in this area! I’ve only been married 7 months, however, through counseling, mentorship, reading the Bible and other books I have gained some pointers for success.

Here are some things that have worked/are working for my husband and I.

Keep God First – Keeping Christ at the center is a must. If as a couple you keep Christ first, there will be nothing you cannot conquer. When problems arise you both will have the attitude of “what would Jesus want us to do”. A Christ-centered relationship allows you to remember that it is about Him and not your flesh.

Spiritual Beliefs – Make sure that the core values you both have is aligned. This also includes ethics and moral values. Discuss these items early on in the relationship and keep open communication on various topics that arise spiritually.

Weekly Date Nights – I am a big supporter of date nights. Make it a point to spend time with each other. Besides the spiritual aspect, this is one of my biggest words of advice to couples.  Date nights do not have to be expensive. It can be a walk in the park, picnic, movies … whatever. The most important thing is to focus on each other, no phones and no distractions.

Communication – This is vital in any relationship. There will be times where this will be tested but open communication is needed. Create an environment where you two are open to speak freely about anything. If this is an area where you struggle, work on it.  

Love Language – I wrote a blog post specifically dealing with the Five Love Languages. Check it out here.

Balance – There needs to be a balance where each person feels that they are able to do the thing(s) that they enjoy.  Some call it “me time” others say “personal time” or enjoying their hobbies. Allow your partner to do the things that they enjoy. Everything needs to be balanced.

Boundaries – This is a vast topic. It is important to set boundaries with friends, family and in-loves (in-laws). Outsiders can be instrumental or detrimental to your relationship. As a couple you need to set boundaries to what each person is comfortable with. This also is aligned with communication.

Love in Action – It is easy to love in words … to say what sounds good. However, what are your actions saying? Love is a verb. Show your love! Actions speak louder.

Seek to Understand – This is the common theme in my life at the moment – Seek to understand, not to be understood. We all have likes/dislikes and it part of our “make-up”. Seek to understand your partner and their likes/dislikes. Don’t always make everything about you. Seek to understand each other.

Understand Differences – This week’s Wifey Wednesday blog was about understanding each other’s differences. Allow your differences to work for your good. What you are lacking, your spouse may bring that exact thing to the table. Remember you are working as a team.

Finances – Prior to getting married, I did research on the things that may cause divorce. In every article finances was mentioned. Opposites attract so many times you will see the “spender” with the “saver”. It is important that as you are working together as a team, your goals and visions are aligned financial. In the areas of weakness, it is important that each party works together for a common goal.

Sex (For my MARRIED couples only) – Sex is a big component in marriage. Many of the components mentioned in this blog post ties into sex. There needs to be an open line of communication of expectations, seeking to understand likes/dislikes and balance.

*Bonus* To my control freaks (especially my females) – This is definitely my area of weakness and I’ll be honest to let you know I am still working on it. If you are a planner, you want everything in order and it brings you comfort in knowing what is next. One of the best things you can do is relinquish your control and give it to God. Allow your mate to be themselves, even if it means that they are spontaneous and do not plan every detail. You will be ok!

Let’s work on improving our relationships and ensuring it is glorifying God.

For His Glory Only,
XOXO
Danielle J.

Wifey Wednesday: Accept Differences

We have heard the phrase “opposites attract” and see it evident in our interactions with family members, friends and even relationships. For instance, if you look in a group of friends – there is usually one that is serious, another who is goofy, the loud one and the quiet one. Although the personalities are all different – they work well together.

The same reigns true in a marriage. Although Scripture calls the couple “one”, that doesn’t mean that they will always see eye to eye. What do you do when differences arise? The way you tend to deal with others (friends, family etc) you tend to do the same in a relationship. You may be the type to “shut down” during an argument …. that can be a challenge within your marriage (Don’t worry. No judgement here ….. I have this particular struggle).

The beauty of differences is it makes us unique. We can learn to appreciate each other’s uniqueness. For example, my husband is a morning person and once he is up – he is up for the day (He doesn’t even take naps). On the other hand, I am the complete opposite. I dislike mornings! I am a night owl and am more productive in the evenings. You should see us together though. Even though we are different in this area we embrace it and even make jokes about it.

Romans 15:6-7 states “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”

My prayer is that God will help us to accept our differences. Help us to see the unique way that He has formed us. At the end of the day we were created according to His plan. May He help us to nurture the gifts we see in each other. May those gifts be sharpened and strengthened and used for His glory. Remember that marriage was made to glorify God.

Neither partner is perfect, which is why we need Him to be our strength. Our personalities are different, and sometimes those differences bring hurt and confusion. Let’s ask Him to teach us to love each other as He instituted love, with patience and grace. Let’s pray for humility and see what we need to improve on.

To my followers who are single – Learn to appreciate the differences amongst your family and friends. With instances of conflict, utilize good communication skills and agree to disagree on some matters, and compromise on the others. Practice these skills NOW and develop in the areas you are weak.

To my followers who are married – Embrace the differences in your spouse. There may be instances where that is challenging but ask God for strength. The same way God has shown you grace, show grace to others.


For His Glory Only,
XOXO
Danielle J.

No Stagnation: Personal Growth

For this edition we will be discussing stagnation in our personal growth.

Remember the definition: Being stagnantmeans having stopped, as by ceasing to run or flow; failure to develop, progress, or advance. The state or quality of being or feeling sluggish and/or dull.

At the beginning of the year – most of us make “New Year’s Resolutions” or set goals. I personally set goals, make a vision board and set an action plan on how to attain those goals. The important thing is not to lose momentum. Things happen! We face obstacles and challenges that may cause stagnation in our personal growth.  This blog post is to assist in the area of personal growth and how to eliminate stagnation in personal growth.

Set Goals & Action Plan – It is important not only to set goals, but the steps to attain the goals. For example, if my goal is weight loss it should look something like this:

• Goal: Lose 20 pounds in 2016 and keep it off
• Action Steps: Walk/Run 3-4 times a week, Gym 2-3 times a week, Eat Clean, Get a trainer

From there you can go into more depth of what your workout and meals will look like and any other items needed to ensure you are a success. The key thing is to set the goal and detailed steps on how you will achieve it.

Create a Vision Board – Vision boards have definitely gained popularity over the past couple of years. Personally at the beginning of the year I complete a fast ranging from 1-21 days, ask God for direction, write out my goals and make a vision board. It is important that you allow God to guide you as you writing your goals and making your vision board. Seek Him FIRST!

Vision boards are a fun and creative way to make the goal real. This visual aid allows all your goals to come alive and creates excitement.

Keep it Visible – Whether you make a vision board or simply write out your goals –make sure it is always visible. Keep the written format in your agenda, take a picture of your vision board to keep on your phone, or you keep your goals hanging up on the fridge. Do whatever it takes to keep your goals in your view. You want to be sure your goals are something that you can see on a daily or even weekly basis. This will keep you motivated.

Accountability – Accountability has come up several times when dealing with stagnation. When you have an accountability partner , they will keep you in line and remind you of your goals and why you started. A [good] accountability partner is able to “check you” if you are fall off track.  Don’t always allow your accountability partner to be someone who is easy on you.

Revisit/Check-In – Make it a point to revisit the goals you have set and note the progress. Put it in your calendar to check it once a month. Even when you have an accountability partner, make sure you keep yourself accountable by checking on your progress.

Make Adjustments – At times we set unrealistic goals, and need to make adjustments. Don’t be so hard on yourself! If losing 20-30 pounds was unrealistic, start with 10 pounds.

There are times you don’t have to change the goal, but the action steps. Don’t feel bad. The main thing is to remain focused.

Short-term vs. Long-term – This is something we learned in our early years of life; the difference between short-term and long-term goals. You may need to make short-term goals that will help you accomplish your long-term goals. For example, if your goal is to obtain your degree … the short-term goal would be to take all the necessary examinations to apply, next apply for the school and then enroll. The long –term goal will always remain “obtain degree” but you may need to break it down.

Be realistic – Don’t overwhelm yourself. Your goals must be realistic. If you don’t make realistic goals you will get discouraged and give up. Setting lofty goals can lead to feeling like a failure. Set goals that are realistic and obtainable. For example, it isn’t realistic for me to say I’ll save half of my salary when my expenses are more than half of my salary. A realistic goal would be saving $1000-2000 a month.

Remember, the best way to deal with stagnation is to make sure your goals are S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Attainable/Achievable, Realistic, Time-Based).

The first six months of the year is gone. Let’s make the next six months AWESOME.

Until next time, let’s work on achieving our personal goals.

For His Glory Only,
XOXO
Danielle J.

Wifey Wednesday: Be the Light

Marriage was instituted to bring God glory and to be the living depiction of Christ’s love for us. This can only be accomplished if we are the light in the midst of all the darkness that surrounds us.

Matthew 5:14-16 says: You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. 

As Christians we are called to be the light of the world [and salt of the earth]. Light can never be hidden. It penetrates darkness! In that same way, our marriages should penetrate the perceptions of the world. The world thinks that most marriages will end in divorce, or are a constant struggle. This is not true! Marriage is beautiful! It is ordained by God. This is why in Mark 10:9 it says “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate”; and to parallel it says that nothing can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:31-39). This means that the same way God does not intend for us to be separated from HIM; he does not want our marriages to be separated! Phew! That hit me!!

The love between husband and wife should be a reflection of God’s love to this world. The goal should be that the love a couple has for Jesus will draw others to Christ. His Word, our faith, and His commandments–are all foreign concepts in this world . We see that every time we turn on the news. They don’t see, because they’re walking in darkness. They don’t understand, because the Spirit is not within them. They don’t accept truth, because they have turned their back on Him. But yet Christ loves them … flaws and all. He seeks them out, and will woo them by His grace.

My prayer is that God will give us the wisdom to be instruments of His grace, that we might win non-believers over by our words and actions. Let us continue to be the light. May He also grant us compassion so that we might love others as He has called us.

To my followers who are single - I want to encourage you to be the light in every situation you come across – even during your season of singleness. One of the things I have learned [the hard way] is you must be faithful in the little first before God gives you anything big (Luke 16:10). This means shed light among your peers, coworkers and friends. If anything seems contrary to God, stay away from it. Do not let is overcome you in any way. Let your light shine!

To my followers who are married – I want to encourage you to show light in your marriage, with your children and everyone you come in contact with. Let God’s light shine through you in the midst of tough situations – disagreements, children running around and challenges at work. Be the example the world needs of how marriage should be!

Let your light shine!

For His Glory Only,
XOXO
Danielle J.

Ordered Steps

My hope is that you are enjoying the La Belle Vie July Bible Challenge.

The Scripture for today is found in Isaiah 30:19-26. My favorite verse from the reading for today is verse 21 which states "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." What a wonderful thing it is to hear God's voice and to know you are walking in the path He has set and ordained. I encourage you to listen for God's voice and the direction He has designed for you. Be encouraged!